life of an american gypsy

5 Minute Genealogy Wrap-Up

2012-01-04T22:37:00.001-08:00

Hey everybody. Just wanted to let you know that the final episodes of the 5 Minute Genealogy Series are finished and posted online. It's been a labor of love, as well as a struggle as I learn where to cut my creative losses and move on.

I've learn a TON over the nine months of working on this project, editing being only part of it. Besides the fulfillment of doing good purely through the promotion of the subject matter, I'm really grateful to have had the opportunity to edit this project;I sharpened skills and developed abilities.

I have my favorite episodes; mostly the later the number, the higher it rates in my personal opinion for various reasons. They weren't entirely done in order though, so it's somewhat of a generality. (specifically, the Mystery Science Theater episode was much later)

Here's the link:

http://broadcast.lds.org/elearning/fhd/Community/en/FamilySearch/5Minute/index.html?bcpid=1125699851001&bckey=AQ~~,AAAAsMO7iuE~,0a6boL_aMzTJOsGRProGiwOzxa5j5EAh&bclid=954918779001&bctid=956167876001

The New Year

2011-12-26T22:35:00.000-08:00

Generally, I loathe new year's resolutions. My personal feeling has been to try to make changes when I notice they need to be made, not wait 'til some arbitrary culturally dictated time to decide to alter myself.

Yet this change of the calendar seems to be cast lately in a more positive light as far as my perceptions, as it's causing me to reflect on where I'm at in my professional development.

Where exactly do I want to be? Is the road I'm on bringing me there? These are questions that have often crossed my mind, but since beginning to work for pay steadily since last March, honestly, the thoughts have been far and few between; I have a semblance of security, I have things, and a schedule (well, sort of). I say it with some reservation, as technically I'm still only an on-call employee, and will literally be jobless in six months if all things remain the same.

So actually, I do have every reason in the world to be concerned about this, and I am. Or at least it's in the back of my mind, and the closer I approach next July, the more it will recurr in my consciousness. Hence the timely change of attitude toward an actual new year resolution this year.

So far, I still know what I want: I want to produce/direct feature film content as an everyday job. How do I do this? Truthfully, only God knows. But I have noticed that where I live can have a great deal to do with increasing the likelihood of this happening. Also, getting experience and meeting people in the biz has a lot to do with it as well. I think it's high time for a resume review:

Currently I'm a reliable, fast and think-outside-the-box editor with a decent amount of professional experience. I have some producing and directing under my belt, and would jump at the chance to do more. I have a love for collaboration, and would do well with a team of talented people to draw from.

I need more producing experience, and working with increasingly larger budgets. It's pretty realistic to anticipate the next six months doing this for me if I stay on the track I'm in and continue doing my best.

If I move to CA, I need to do a better job of reaching out and integrating myself into the right circles. That I haven't done the best job of in years past. But I think it's time for me to go back and make a better attempt than the last time. I need to dive in with both feet, not walk around and wade in the shallows.

If things are the same in six months as they are right now, this will be the direction I take.

My options overall: work part-time and get gigs on the side so as to create a stable yearly income, or work full-time and move at the end of the six month period. I definitely lean towards the later. As my blog title suggests, as long as I'm a bachelor, I much prefer the transient lifestyle.

Maybe I'll look into moving somewhere more drastic. Like Europe or something. I'm sure I could find a gig as an editor or something in some remote corner of the world. And why not? Nothing's holding me here. And with six months preparation, I could realistically plan it.

That, or get full-time employment offer sometime between now and then. But that would need to be in the biz, and if it's not for my current employer, there's absolutely no chance it will be in UT (okay, maybe one in ten million). AND even then, if I'm honest with myself, I need to remember my ultimate professional goal, and not lose sight of that aka. it would end up being temporary (I know myself and what motivates me).

The grim occupational reality is I'm in a desert of sorts for my business, or in a very small oasis in the middle of a vast desert, to be more accurate. Living in UT without my current gig is THE dealbreaker.

I've enjoyed the time reconnecting with friends and family, and feeling a little (note: very little; during one visit to buy Christmas presents on campus last weekend) sentiment re: my college years, but I think it's gonna be time I move on to where I'm headed: Forward.

Good news on the filmmaking front

2011-12-19T17:03:00.000-08:00

Great things have been happening at my work place. I am producing, well, short of doing the budget (which is typically a big part), I am producing a project for the office. It deals with a process called Indexing. Its a task oriented to digitizing governmental records into a searchable form for people to be able to do genealogical research. Anyway, I flew with a small crew to Sacramento to film for two days and am now in the editing stages of the project. Great project that could have a large affect on its target audience.

Besides this, for me personally it means that I'm getting to do more of what I had originally hoped when I first got hooked up with this gig. That's great news.

I've been working there for the past nine months. Doesn't seem that long. My plan is to work there another six at least. Unless something rather remarkable happens, (hiring) it will only be for six, then it will likely be back to CA for me. At least that's my natural inclination. If I don't have a job in UT, I have zero desire to remain in the state.

But I won't jump to conclusions. A lot can happen in six months.

2011-11-24T19:50:00.000-08:00

Boy, have I been slacking on the blogging front. That'll be my first and only new year's resolution.

So since I last left you, my good people, I was still in UT. And I'm still in UT.

As you may have guessed, nothing much has changed.

I am wrapping up my first year in UT. Can't believe I've been here this long. Er, there. I'm in ID right now 'celebrating' Thanksgiving with my family.

Oh- interesting/exciting/personally fulfilling: I decided to buy a second-hand sewing machine because I wanted to teach myself to make my halloween costume. Granted, I didn't finish it yet still, but it got me on the path, and I'm learning a ton.

So when the world comes apart at the seams, my clothing supply won't.

But really, it's pretty neat to see something come from nothing.

Besides new hobbies acruing jokes from my roommates... another thing of note in the month of October was a sweet party that my friends and I put on for Halloween. Of course, numbers rarely have little to do with the quality of an evening, but I counted it a managerial success considering we had 100 or so people total show up to the party. We also made 10 gallons of caramel popcorn (gluten free, awesome) and 10 gallons of homemade rootbeer.

I ended up needing to make a different costume (I'd spent the entire previous week rushing the one and not finishing) that day. It consisted of a torn-up suit (which matched impeccably- previous to being a zombie, I was a well-dressed stock broker), pale and red makeup, and a half cup or so of fake blood. If you're on facebook, check out my zombie-fied self. Rather scary, I've been told.

Another thing happened last weekend- I had the opportunity to direct and produce (minus the budgetary part- that had been done) a piece for my employer. Got to fly to Sacramento for two days and guide the production, making decisions along the way. And I better give a shout-out to the folks in Sacramento that made my job a dream. They were stellar. And the product will be infinitely better because of them... Can't wait to show the end result. But that is a month or three away, so don't get excited.

The subject of said production is regarding a process called 'indexing' where people ingest and transcribe analog records into a digital format, allowing them to be searchable through a database. This church oriented group was able to index one million names in one month. It was a pretty unbelievable feat. And we recorded a behind the scenes of how they did it. The end product will be for motivating others to use the same tools in similar ways.

Oh, one more thing. A friend of mine started a sweet get-together in SLC. It's a weekly jam session at The Hotel in downtown. You can prepare a number, perform, and have the band back you up. I think it's pretty sweet, and plan to do it one of these weeks. I've gone once, and plan to do attend it again soon. For the record, Taryn Scali is the bomb!

Ode to la musica

2011-10-15T22:42:00.000-07:00

Thank goodness for good music. If it weren't for music, sometimes I don't know what I'd do. It helps me feel, to experience without the experience. To empathize, to go through what others go through, and to sense what they sense...and to purge myself of feeling when my life is at a low point...to bring emotional catharsis when the weight is too much for me to deal with at the time. My depth of feeling is quite significant. On a somewhat related tangent, on occasion I've been tempted to believe that I could have a condition such as manic depressive disorder. "Maybe you need medicine," my mother told me. HA. I laughed. But maybe? No. I just feel things. Deeply. To the point that I've been accused of being a druggy when I required an inordinate amount of anesthesia to put me out for a procedure...

I say music is my drug, but I'm not kidding. It allows me to access the recesses of human suffering and ecstatic joy by proxy in a way nothing but actual experience can compare to. That is why I love it. I love to empathize, and I love to feel. Deep. Pain, joy, excitement, the works. I love to feel, and I love to experience. Music is my drug.

Back

2011-09-11T09:25:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the hiatus. Life has been crazy, and I guess I haven't had too much to say, though that's more of a reflection of my own state of mind than it is anything else.

Life goes on in the direction it did when I left you, my faithful readers. I'm still living in UT, working for the audiovisual department of the LDS church. I'm the primary editor for a rather large online video series project dedicated to educating folks to more easily trace their ancestors. It's a sweet gig, and I'm grateful for the work. I get recompensed pretty well, and I'm gaining good experience. Stability has finally come into my life, and it's a great change. I live only half a mile from work, and I either long board or drive, depending on how healed I am from the latest soccer game. (These happen at least weekly, and I'm surprised how quickly I'm improving, considering the last time I played was probably twenty years before.)

Utah has been good to me, for sure. I've really been enjoying the social environment, totally opposite of my expectations. I guess not being formally enrolled in school and having employment and independence makes a real difference in the way I view my world.

Another development I have relished is when I bought my 89 Jeep Wrangler. I love it, despite the atrocious gas mileage.

I've also been further expanding my creative collaborative process by developing a story of mine with a screenwriter and character development artists. And it's coming along. There's a learning curve, but I'm satisfied at what we've accomplished thus far.

Currently I'm on a trip to southern California with a friend of mine who needed to renew his passport. He's a Turkish national, and the closest consulate to Provo is in Los Angeles. So we stopped in on friends in southern UT, as well as where I lived most recently in San Bernardino county on the mountain. Today we're headed down to San Diego to attend the church where my buddy attended when he first came to the United States a couple years ago.

I see things going on about the same for now. I have work scheduled to continue until at least next July. I have been especially blessed in the amount of predictability and steadiness I've been given in my work, even within the office I work in. (I am amazed, considering the degree of instability that seems to have imbued every aspect of my life up until now.) I do believe that if you follow in the path you feel is laid for you, do your best, and remain patient, things work out, and you eventually get what you most desire. My life at this point seems to be a partial validation of that idea. And I believe the days and years ahead will further complete this otherwise optimistic view of the world.

Neon Trees Contest

2011-07-31T07:40:00.001-07:00

My buddy put this project together, and we shot it this last weekend. It's a contest for the band Neon Trees. It's so cool. It was my first real attempt to light a project. I wasn't the greatest, but I'm learning. I had my roommate's help too. I think it turned out. Let me know what you think... better yet, feel free to also comment on the youtube video itself, and maybe it will help it win the contest. Whoever makes the best video wins... something, I think they'll use it as their official music video. Gotta find out about that. So with no further ado:

New Videos: Video 3 of 4; Round 2

2011-07-15T20:09:00.001-07:00

Curbing the Music Addiction

2011-07-06T08:48:00.000-07:00

I have a problem.

This music addiction is too tempting for me. I get caught up in good music. Then because it's been made so affordable by our friends the Russians, I have to go and buy it. And you'd think that since it's so cheap, I'd not be spending all that much money. Nope. I burn through more than my share of greenbacks... and I have a hefty music library to prove it.

I guess there are worse things I could be spending my hard earned money on. TAnd for the record I am saving money, AND paying off my debts. So I'm exaggerating a little. But seriously. I need to have a little self control when it comes to buying ANOTHER soundtrack to a movie.

I didn't realize how few people listen to soundtracks until it was pointed out to me by a few people, one this week.

I do. A lot. I don't exactly get inspiration from it, I just like to feel. I like it how it can make me feel and empathize with others' experiences. It's almost like a drug, but a natural high for me. The funny thing is, I think this is why I require an abnormal amount of anesthesia when I get put out for medical procedures. The last time I got put under the nurse said I was like a drug user, as people that use are accustomed to chemical highs require much more stuff to put them out. I used or needed far more than I should have. What can I say, I must be high on life! But seriously, music really is a high for me. And believe me, it's habit forming...

Had to share

2011-07-01T10:48:00.000-07:00

I just read the funniest blog post from a link on one if my friends' walls on facebook. Proceed if you dare. I warn you, you'll be skipping your ab workout today!

http://www.joshweed.com/2011/04/bambi-nuggets.html#comment-form

The long cut (or longest)

2011-06-30T10:53:00.001-07:00

The Choir Piece I mentioned awhile back.

2011-06-29T16:19:00.000-07:00

This is the video I spoke about a while back. This was my favorite project to edit thus far. It was exciting because I was involved from the start and had quite a degree of influence over some of the overall style and such, as well as the final edit.

This was the shortest of 3 cuts we made.

Enjoy!

By the way, it's home is on this site: vineyard.lds.org

What's with the name?

2011-06-22T17:54:00.000-07:00

Many of you have inquired as to the name of Roche. I figure rather than three million small explanations, it would be a time saver to just articulate it here.

The truth? That's my real last name.

Well, obviously that's an over simplification, but it's true.

The story goes like this: My great-grandpa was running from the feds back in the day and changed his name a bunch of times. Yes, my immediate and much of my extended family has been living with an alias for the last 70 or so years. True story.

I have living relatives that should all share the same surname, but don't as a result of my great (or not so great) grandpa.

Usually I don't make it a point to dishonor the memory of the deceased, but when you find out what he did, I think you'll understand:

My great-grandpa left his wife, ran off with another woman, and kidnapped his son, my grandpa, at age 11... never to see his mother again in life.

My aunt, the youngest of my grandpa's siblings, told me she remembers her mother crying out in the cornfield. (Oh, and he stole from the gov't, though I hardly would use that as reason for public scorn of the dead- that's why the feds were after him)

Yes, my grandpa told me that they went up into Canada... eventually back down into the western United States. They were originally living in Nebraska. (I was actually born in Nebraska, how strange is that... considering that I have no memory of it yet it's played such a central role in my family's history)

I place a high value on my identity, and my connection with those long gone. I feel like I'm taking back part of who I really am in using this name.

It comes most recently from Ireland, but in my quest I have discovered that the name of Roche is actually Anglo-Norman, most likely some relation to a similar word in french. It means "rock" or "small stone."

And while I doubt I will ever legally make the switch, I don't think that's the point.

Headphones and a Music Addiction

2011-06-18T12:31:00.000-07:00

Well, one of the results of my newfound freedom resulting from a steady income... (this is a new experience for me... welcome to the world of a filmmaker) is the opportunity to indulge in things I never have had the chance to.

Sometimes I feel like I missed out on some experiences due to one circumstance or another as a result of my peculiar personal development.. to say I'm a late bloomer is the understatement... at least. Maybe one of the reasons people think I'm so much younger than my age is because... developmentally, I am. At least thats how I genuinely feel.

Something about my life seems to have been put on hold until recently. But I thank the good Lord that His timing is now.

Anyway, on a mildly related note, I've been really enjoying my appetite for music... which, after going for decades without much fodder for the fire, which I've always had... is burning brightly.

Thanks to a recommendation of a friend who referred me to gomusic.com, where one can download incredibly cheap music.

Needless to say, I seem to have an insatiable desire for great music, soundtracks and others. Some of my favorites include the group Evanescence, Chris Daughtry, Michael Buble, Rascal Flatts, Keith Urban, Darius Rucker, Kelly Clarkson, MJ, Jason Mraz, Shania Twain, and a slew of movie scores. I really love the music from things that for me paint an evocative portrait.

Movies are my passion, but music is my drug. For me, scores from Chocolat, Narnia 1, Edward Scissorhands, Prince of Egypt, Inception, Moulin Rouge, Disney animated musicals, Nightmare Before Christmas, Jurassic Park are just some of my preferred 'fixes.'

Even with the drawbacks of not doing exactly what I want in my career right now, I could seriously get used to this sense of stability. That said, I am so glad I persisted in what I wanted to do that has brought me to where I'm at. Life could be really miserable otherwise if I hadn't. And most likely, I will continue until I reach my goals. Actually there's no doubt in my mind about that. I'd get so restless.. and anyway, the nature of my day to day work actually inspires and grows my opportunities for accomplishing my ultimate professional goals... a silver lining to the difficulties I've encountered on this journey is that the momentumone builds becomes inertia that pushes and pulls you forward, even without you really trying. It's about time, I'll say!

I bought a nice pair of headphones last week, and they finally came. Sony 7506's. Took forever. I'll use them at work and for future productions... as well as on my walks to and from work. Gotta love the excuse to spend money on toys that are totally justified business expenses.

another Idea

2011-06-11T07:44:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine and I were talking recently about some ideas. She called and asked if I'd be interested in helping her bring a short film she was writing to life. (of course I obliged) In the course of our discussion, I had a brilliant return of some ideas, as well as a timely coordination of elements.

I'd like to shoot a mockumentary. That's what it comes down to.

Lately I've watched a few mockumentaries that have awakened my consistent interest in comedy, but pointed out to me the genre that could most likely facilitate the goal I recently stated on this blog. Seems the resources I've been connecting with these last months would be extremely contributive for a project such as this. Further, The youtube model of creating a few experimental shorts could allow significant development as well as content for pitching for budget from 3rd parties, not to mention the central necessity of me being able to finance appropriately these small productions myself.

If I have learned anything in my time in this business (and I assure you that I have) it's that you get what you pay for.. and further, that some money in a small film budget can stretch infinitely farther than none at all.

So far I think I have a great concept or premise.. but lack a strong central narrative. I'm thinking the idiosyncracies surrounding social networking and modern communication aka texting.. along with maybe the pseudo social hanging out nondating culture now persisting in college age adults and all the stereotypes in the spectrum.

The idea will be to create a general outline and characters, then cast experienced comedic actors and allow them to work together to create their characters alongside the writing team.. ultimately they'll be able to improv as much as they like within the general context of the overall story idea.. we'd shoot it almost like a documentary.. hence (partly at least) the title of the genre.

I have experience with the elements of this type of production, but I am yet to shoot a fully developed feature of any type, doc or mock included.

This very well may be my first. Everybody's got one, that is, except those that never step out and try.

In Development

2011-06-09T00:04:00.000-07:00

My plan continues to evolve. I am now expecting to sign a contract to remain in my current apartment through fall/winter. Thanks to the prompting of my roommate, and mulling it over myself, I realized that if I do this, worst case scenario, I will likely only have about two months of unemployment before the year is up, after which I can start over at small productions on a new 1000 hours! Genius!

As I've said previously, I can't beat the location (considering it's proximity to work), so why not just stay here? It's a bit more expensive, but not enough to trouble the extra expense of change and anticipated travel expenses incurred because of living a greater distance from work.

So that's one of few concerns I can now forget. Oh, the virtues of bachelorhood.

I have a simple, good life.

My work...

2011-06-02T18:18:00.000-07:00

This is the first of many videos that I've been working on. I'm the primary editor for the project, so while I'm not always the final say on things, everything you see necessarily goes through me. Not that I always want to take credit for things.. We have rather tight constraints sometimes that limit what can ultimately be accomplished.

For your information, there are three others on the familysearch YouTube channel, with many to follow, 24 in total.

Change of Plans

2011-05-31T00:00:00.000-07:00

I've decided recently that it would be prudent, wise and worth my while to attempt to adjust my situation such that I will be able to stay out my days here in Provo until I can exhaust my total 1000 hours.. I'd planned on going back to CA the middle of August.. But this seems like a better, more responsible move.. I am getting far to accustom to this thing called money.. And the thought of going to a place and situation that upsets that flow seems absurd now. So now I gotta figure out just what I'll have to do in order to accomplish this new direction and objective.

On another note, I had the pleasure this week to spend a little on growing my iTunes library. Yeah for good music, cinematic and popular.

I also have a new goal. I think I mentioned it recently in a post.. But it is worth repetion. I have a goal to shoot my first feature film within the next twelve month..

Beginning of a Good Thing

2011-05-29T08:29:00.000-07:00

One of my goals is to blog more often this summer as I attempt to fulfill the ambition of getting out and traveling more. I want to climb timpanogos, go to arches again, hit up Zions, travel down to the coral pink sand dunes.. I also think it would be cool to go to the narrows, and to the area where Aaron Ralston got stuck and almost died. Seemed like a sweet place to hike. Guess I should check to make sure the place in the movie was actually where he was.. Haha. Duh.

Anyway, this weekend was a good beginning. My brother and I went camping up Spanish Fork Canyon. We got off on a familiar foot as it was dark before we ever arrived at our ultimate and unforeseen destination.

No biggie though. We set up our tents in the dark after thoroughly investigating the otherwise deserted railroad area where we had chosen to make our encampment. We found plenty of dry wood..

It was warm considering the lingering rainclouds that had followed us and persisted over the entire Utah Valley for the majority of this past week.

As we walked along the train tracks, my brother had the misfortune of stepping into a huge mess of filthy black tar that had somehow been deposited. It was positively nasty, totally ruined his shoe;

it went clear up to his ankle..black, sticky, clinging, viscous tar, like the stuff people were tortured with by mobs in the nineteenth century.

To his credit, it didn't ruin his night. He scraped off what he could and made due under the circumstances, though his shoe looked a sight. He didn't even really complain. I was impressed. I can't even stand dealing with getting maple syrup on my arm for five minutes, let alone black goop for hours on end away from civilization. Nasty.

We got our fire built, and I roasted the first marshmallows of the season (strawberry flavored, mind you).

That night we had about five trains pass by us in the night. It was pretty cool, I only wish I'd 'a' had my camera out to catch it on video to share it here. Noisy as all get-out, as it sounded like they were passing through our tent..

Before we it the sack the sky cleared off and we even saw stars.

I want to go again next weekend.

Technology Overload

2011-05-25T16:21:00.000-07:00

I confess. I am now a junkie. It seems I hardly have time to think these days. Every moment feels like it's being eaten up by one thing or another.. Actually one thing in particular: the new piece of marvelous technology that follows me around.

Is there a honeymoon stage with gadgets like this? I sure hope so, because it's actually tiring. I know, no sympathy for the filmmaker apple idiot who's emails end with the phrase, "sent from my such and such.". (though you may notice a conspicuous absence of such a grating closing statement originating from this emailer.)

I guess going for so long without a device has left quite a vacuum. I think I'm going to go on a regular technology fast once a month to clear my mind.

All in all, I think it was a fabulous investment, I just don't know if I want to be so saturated with mind stuffing constantly. I think that's why I've been so keen on trying to go camping is weekend. I need a break.

I had the self control to responsibly save up for this.. Now I need it in order to let it go (well, not exactly.. but you get my point.)

Overtime

2011-05-15T07:09:00.000-07:00

Work is going well. I've been working some long hours, but I'm learning that in this business, you gotta take it when it comes.

On an unrelated note, I turned 31 today.

The sun is shining. I think spring is officially in full swing in UT, and summer is actually beginning to tease us. I'm not going to hold my breath. I'm afraid I'm permanently spoiled by California.

Another random thing I ought to share is that I've officially made $2.90 through advertising one of my youtube videos. It's up to 30,000+ hits. Once your video gets a certain amount of hits, Youtube emails you and invites you to instigate advertising, and splits the revenue with you. Three dollars I didn't have before, I guess.

You can watch it by searching "color grading" on www.youtube.com. I come up on the first page.

Interestingly enough, I actually got to apply some of my color grading skills on a project this week. I had to fix a few shots for one of these '5 minute Genealogy' episodes I've been working on as editor.

Still no posting of the choir video I mentioned previously. I don't know why it takes them so blasted long. It's an exercise in irrelevance, I think.

Good things come to those who wait

2011-05-08T08:38:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been making plans to buy an ipad. It all started when I finally reconciled that I need some semblance of a phone. For those not aware, I have been living without a mobile phone for the past 6 months. At first it was of necessity, no income = no phone. But then as I grew accustom to my dilemma, I actually began to savor it. Not being constantly plugged into the matrix afforded me mental peace and quiet not recently enjoyed. I began looking at the idea of getting a new phone with contempt.

The thing is, with the wonder that is googlevoice, I was able to stay connected (they provide a free online number) without being plugged it. I could connect or avoid without needing any more excuse than, "Well, I don't have a phone." Further, googlevoice allows me to make and receive calls, voicemail, and text, all for free.

I had privacy and solitude I hadn't experienced in who knows how long. I realized that despite the convenience of communication, it had an effect on me as if I was always 'plugged in,' always going, and never feeling a sense of real deep thought. It actually had become a tether, a weight that kept me from taking the time to ponder and think, and clear my thoughts; the phone had become a chain around my neck. I could be reached any time, anywhere. And if I didn't answer, always the question would beg, "why didn't you answer? why didn't you call me back?" And I, as a people pleaser, would not be able to say, 'Because I didn't want to talk to you or anyone else for the last week and a half."

Another perk, though not as significant as the tether is not having to pay 60+ bucks a month, as do most of my peers.

It's kinda like the good old days when we had to actually wait until we got to our destination in order to make a phone call. Imagine that! Maybe there'd be less cell phone related deaths if everybody went with this idea.

This is all great. But there was one catch peculiar to my situation; my computer doesn't support the googlevoice browser app. My processor is too slow. So every time I want to make a phone call, I have to use my roommate's computer. Speaking of inconvenient. I must admit this arrangement has censored my phone calling behavior significantly, more so than I, Mr. Leave-Me-Alone-Sometimes-For-An-Extended-Period would prefer. Hence the need for a new mobile device. (the thing that has gotten me through it though has been that I can text through my email via my googlevoice number, so at least I've been able to keep in touch with some folks.)

All this was my rationale for considering the idea of an ipod touch. The new ipod touch is wifi enabled, and there's an app that lets you convert the itouch into a phone-like device. Since I have wifi at home and work, I figured it'd be a perfect match.

Enter Netflix, stage left.

Well, I have mentioned previously (I think on facebook) that I have discovered the miracle that is Netflix. Only thing is, again I have to use my roommate's computer as my processor is out of date.

I get DVDs by mail, but I could cover a lot more ground if I didn't constantly have to bother my roommate and his computer. It has seriously limited my access to the service considering how often I'd use it if I could.

I've also been toying over the past year with the idea of a laptop. I'm reconciled to the idea that my computer is out of date. Now I know I need a phoneish thing. And it'd be convenient for it to be a larger screen than a phone aka ipod touch, yet still relatively mobile.

The Ipad seems a perfect match. Comparative price, relative mobility, relative screen size, and cell capable internet without a contract- very important for the filmmaker's harsh reality of feast or famine) as well as an updated operating system, a music player (never have owned an ipod), a skype/webvideo system, a very basic digicamera- for blogging until I get a superior one, not to mention all the fun and intriguing apps I'm already scoping out.. including RosettaStone; one of my personal goals is to learn a number of languages)

I've heard the ipad is not ideal for productivity, but for media consumption. I don't plan on doing lots of work on it anyway. (really, who actually gets anything done on the plane or in the car anyway?) I still have my desktop both at home and work. When I'm working, I prefer to be at a desk.

One more thing, I must say, I'm very proud of myself. I'm delaying getting it until I have some reserves built up, and am paying cash. Even though I could afford it right now theoretically, it would be unwise (as much as I want to get it).

I believe I'll appreciate it more because I will not have sacrificed my personal security.

Hope this post doesn't nauseate anyone. I'm just realizing how stupid it seems.

What makes me think I will succeed at this job

2011-04-30T12:51:00.000-07:00

I don't know how most people really think about what I'm doing and the likelihood of me reaching the goals I've set for myself in the film world (specifically). The odds are against me. I know this. I may be an idealist, but I'm not naive. It's a rather dour picture, actually.

The upside is that few if any people within my circles tell me to my face that I'll fail. That's probably because I intentionally avoid cynics and burned-out self-described 'realists' (who are actually bitter, disappointed idealists in my view).

But regardless, this lack of success for most in this business is a hard reality that I have tackled with for some time. If I have any hope of truly finding success, it's my responsibility to improve and enlarge and take advantage of whatever knowledge, innovation, technology and opportunity that presents itself in order for me to secure the most predictable, stable and reliable career possible. This I feel I have done.

While I have little to show for it, a lot has gone on behind the scenes. It's been said that most over-night successes took years to create. I expect I'll fall into that category one of these days.

Probably the most direct show of evidence as to why I shall succeed is the outline of ideas detailed in my most recent ThirdofEight Business plan.

I don't expect most people to have the patience to read it, but if you are interested in making a formal 'go' of a creative endeavor for your career, I highly recommend a conscientious attempt at reading it.

For those just interested in the basic ideas, I have randomly written down a few connected thoughts this morning that essentially explain to myself why I believe I will succeed:

While Hollywood is still a place (a rather filthy place, literally), it's quickly becoming a roaming standard rather than a quantifiably defined industry. Country (primarily Canada) and state (US) film subsidies and the digital revolution have created small pockets of competent crew in innumerable locations across the world. This allows me to shoot high quality anywhere.

Various corporate innovations improve employment draw and increase retention (not to mention increasing the standard of living, and ultimately, quality of life of employees- worth something to an idealist). My nonprofit and educational research and development will provide an efficient and invaluable infrastructure once I get the context necessary to warrant such an investment.

Pixar's collaborative process yet has no equal, and promises drastically increased reliability in motion picture success as well as other related creative ventures. I have taken their process and adapted it to my own organization.

Social media is fast reducing marketing costs synonymously with heightening the value-added appeal of small producers due to their 'local,' hand-made mystique. Central to these phenomena is the principle of word-of-mouth. I have spent the last year and a half building and growing an online presence, social networking and blogging being the primary catalysts with a website uniting them all.

The oncoming tidal wave of digital theatrical distribution (see the websites of the top 5 film distribution houses) will be the linchpin for non-union, non-studio (a misnomer referring to the unlikes of WarnerBros, Universal, Sony & Disney) entities finding their place in the movie business world. The omen of possibility speaks so clearly to me in this.

The remaining nut to crack is startup funding, and that is in the works. I have a few options, some more direct than others.

I often think how ambitious and grandiose these vision are I have, but then, even if I accomplished half of what I set out to do, that achievement would be well worth the ride.

I still want to do it all though.

Moving Day

2011-04-23T16:49:00.000-07:00

Yesterday my roommate and I signed a lease for summer. We're moving to Provo so I'm closer to work and won't have to commute the 40 miles one-way. Now I'll be .6 miles away, literally down the street from my workplace. So that's good.

We're glad to be moving, even though I bemoan the idea of the ethnically sterile culture of Provo. I guess I'll have to live with it. It has been a bit different working rather than going to school there. We'll see how the living conditions are. I stayed one summer in Provo while I was in college, and it was quite a lot of fun. I've changed a lot and grown up a little since then (one can only hope).

Time will tell.

The thing I'm most excited about besides having my own room (and therefore can wake up as early as I like and go to bed likewise- I've had to dispense with the post college schedule or early all around) and cooking at any hour I like (early so I can eat and leave early)) is that there's a little gym at the complex, therefore I don't have to buy a gym membership. Phew!

I can continue working out and gaining strength without a hitch or additional cost.

Some of you know I've been working out now for a couple months, and have gained about 15 lbs. overall, possibly more. I need to weigh myself to be sure and haven't for month.

Sorry for the self-obsessed sound of this post, but this is my first real opportunity to improve my physical body and it's working.

I've always been a lanky push over, and I don't wanna be.

Now I have the chance, and so far I've taken it and have had some success.

There are so few things I have gained so much satisfaction from as altering myself like this in a positive way.

My goal is to eventually gain 50 lbs.

Laugh if you will. But again, time will tell. If the last two months are any indication, the odds are gratefully in my favor.

Some Backstory

2011-04-17T20:01:00.000-07:00

I figure if my writer is blogging about it, I ought to do the honors of sharing a little of the story we're working on. I've been at it for about 10 years. The basic idea came to me while I was a missionary for my church back in the day. The premise is a story of a 12 or so year old kid that has to solve an ancestral curse to bring his family back together. He finds himself in an unfamiliar environment living with his estranged grandmother on the outskirts of what once was the Massachusetts Bay Colony, otherwise known as the place of the Salem witch trials. The story goes back and forth between two time periods, that of current day and that of one generation removed from said witch trials. The story follows both the kid and his ancestor on parallel journeys.

I've written a basic concept and very meager treatment. Currently, Aubrey, my writer, and I are collaborating to expand and deepen my ideas into a full, complete screenplay. I'm enjoying it rather a lot.

Go to my works-in-progress blog at wip.thirdofeight.com to read up on the latest with Aubrey, and the story, and come here to get the more general film biz scoop from my point of view.

Benjamin

New Blogging Contributor, and Good News from Work

2011-04-16T21:38:00.000-07:00

I think I've mentioned that I've been collaborating with a writer on a screenplay the past couple months. It has been exhilarating working together, and seeing how our concerted work is superior to the sum of our individual efforts.

Our story is coming along, but I thought it would be interesting for you, my audience, to get to know the writer a little.. so I've invited her to contribute to my 'works in progress' blog. She'll be able to share whatever she feels like. I'm excited for you all to get to know her.

On a rather different note, great news on the work front.

I've been working on this video that involves some sticky legal approval that has to be granted in order to use certain footage. For a little while, it wasn't looking good. But yesterday I received word after work from my producer that he had just received the official approval to use said footage. Major hurdle cleared! That means that more than likely, you will get to see the video streaming on youtube! (more often than you would think, stuff gets canned at this stage. phew.)

There are still more approvals to be granted (permission to use certain music arrangements) but this is a great beginning. These approvals will not hinge on the reliably problematic legal dept approval, but on the cooperation of private individual parties.

And from others' past experience, these could hardly be more troublesome than that stage mentioned herein.

Time will tell. Here's hopin'!

Behind-the-Scenes of the Hobbit v.1

2011-04-15T06:41:00.000-07:00

Found this little nugget on facebook this morning. If you like Lord of the Rings, it's a fun little behind-the-scenes video of the making of the Hobbit.

Regrets

2011-04-14T23:13:00.000-07:00

I have none.

I am so glad that long ago, I decided to pursue the things that brought me the greatest excitement and validated my happy place. Sure, it's been an arduous journey. And I'm glad I didn't know the places I'd go to get where I'm at. There is a place for naivete in this world, just sayin'. But I am so grateful I never stopped. I am still not quite there as far as what I want to accomplish in this business, but I am seeing telltale signs that are entirely encouraging to me; I have enough evidence to spur me onward with renewed determination and vigor.

To the tenacity of dreams, and the elbow grease and self-denial that help to bring them about.

Reflections: Past, Present and Yet to Come

2011-04-14T23:07:00.000-07:00

It's great to finally own my life. For the longest time I've had identity and value issues regarding my career and struggled to see myself as legitimate. I never doubted that I was doing the right thing, but just didn't really have a feeling of wholeness in my decision.

Well, I own it now. This is my thing, my career, my life. I feel, as if I have in some way, arrived. Here I am, working, and living, and finding purpose and context for the skills and relationships I have developed and learned and earned and built. I'm finally, after a l-o-n-g spring, harvesting fruit from the vineyard I long have worked at. And it feels good.

Week Three: Merry Christmas

2011-04-09T19:42:00.000-07:00

The weather has really been a mess as of late. Snow and rain off and on is making me feel like I'm back in February.

Today I officially retired my old converse. Funny how worn out they look next to the new shoes. I feel like playing taps. Most I ever got out of 12 dollars.

I'm excited to be able to post the projects I've been working on, but I'm not sure how long it will take them to officially come out of the workflow and into the waking world that is the internet. Keep you posted.

In a related note, I got paid for the first time. Yep. I'm officially moving ahead, paying my debts and moving forward financially. Feels good.

Now if the weather would just cooperate.

Choral Piece I Recommend

2011-04-02T08:08:00.000-07:00

I heard this song this week sung by a choir we were shooting. It's powerful and beautiful.
I Am Not Afraid

Week Two

2011-04-01T22:25:00.000-07:00

Well, a second week done. I like the work; its challenging, enjoyable, and right down the line with my skills.

Things are coming along smoothly. I hate traffic, but it's not a bad commute considering my friends in LA.

I've been on a project for Familysearch.org for the last two weeks. This week I began another project that involved participating in a shoot. That was good experience. We traveled up to Logan where our subject was going to school.

I'm the editor, and got to go along to offer suggestions and help develop ways of communicating the director's concept.

A sidenote is we have a camera man that will be there during the men's session of LDS general conference tomorrow. He's shooting our subject who is singing in the choir. I'll cut the footage with the interview stuff later.

(When this and the other content I'm editing goes online, I'll post links or embeds here for your enlightenment and/or enjoyment.)

My DNA Comes From Somewhere

2011-03-26T22:51:00.000-07:00

Ever wonder where your physical features originate? I've wondered that before. My sister and I have the same mouth, and we get it from my Grandma Fay. My physique is very much from my mom's side, the Blackburns. My eyes, I wasn't quite sure. A year or so ago I was so curious, and discovered through deduction that my eyes come from my Grandpa.

That was neat. I'd been told by a friend that saw a picture of us that I looked like him, but I didn't know exactly how 'til then.

But I was even more curious as to where he got those eyes. I looked at my great grandpa's photo. Nope. Not from him. I wondered if my great grandma was the one, then. I had a problem though. My great (or not so great) grandpa kidnapped my grandpa when he was ten years old. He never saw his mom again. Correspondingly, we hadn't seen any sight of her in all these years.

Now, my grandpa had other siblings, and after my great grandma died at age 44 or something my g-grandpa ended up bringing the rest of his kids to western Montana, where he then lived. It just so happened that my great aunt Mary Ann lives a few blocks away from my parents. I've talked to her occasionally about her mother, especially when I was getting curious about my eyes.. but I never got more than stories.

Well, my grandpa passed away earlier this month, as many of you know. And a miracle happened. Circumstances directed my mom to, in passing, asked my step grandma to ask my aunt if she had any pictures of her mother. She did. WHAT THE?? I wanted to say.

All this time she had a lovely photo framed on her bedroom dresser.

And I was right. There is a striking resemblance between her and I.. exactly where I had guessed. My dad asked us not to post it on facebook, but I'm indulging at least this picture to illustrate my point. (If it helps you want to learn more about your family, it's worth the risk of hard feelings.)

First week down

2011-03-26T10:43:00.000-07:00

I've completed my first week. Feels so good.

And I'm learning a lot.

I'm not used to the regiment, but it's good to have it sometimes. Especially when I've learned to not rely on it for security. I can't get attached to a job or I lose sight of my goals. Every moment at this job serves as a temporary reprieve rather than an end unto itself.

Such is the nature of the business I have engaged myself in.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Where I'm working it's the coolest because I have the freedom to set my own hours and days. Not many jobs allow for that kind of leeway. And I'm paid well, which makes it all that much more worthwhile.

Actually, in this business, there is security, it's just spread out. Your skills, your network and your reputation are your reliance rather than one mother corporation. Great job to have in a world in turmoil. Thing is it just takes time to establish these things, so not everyone has the patience or the foresight to trust that they will eventually come. Good thing, or everyone would be in film making!

First Day on the Job

2011-03-21T21:10:00.000-07:00

Well, made it back to UT after a lovely funeral, and spent time with the parentals, siblings and nieces/nephews. Cutest little kids on the earth, as far as I'm concerned. I wish I could post the picture I got with all of them (the little ones) but since this is a publicly broadcast blog, I err on the side of the well-being of them. I'm pretty proud though. I really love those little kids.

My grandfather's funeral went wonderfully. I was really pleased with how it turned out. I had an unusual opportunity of having quite an influential hand in the writing of his life sketch. My mother was the one asked to give it. Four or five people contributed, but the best my mom had still needed some editing. So I volunteered considering the stress of everything else going on in the house, and I ended up spending quite a bit more time on it than I expected. I ended up writing in some significant additions, deleting, and rephrasing things and massaging ideas in order to give just the right feeling. It was a lot of work, but oh, I was grateful for the time I invested once it was complete.. a priceless opportunity.

And today was my first day of work at the audio visual department in Provo. I'm not an employee, but sort of a temp, or 'on-call' worker. I'm a video editor. I like my situation. Under the circumstances, I could hardly ask for a better opportunity..

And I think I may have already mentioned this previously, but can I just say South Salt Lake is the bomb? I feel right at home; it's in many ways just like California... that is, except for the weather. But thankfully spring is on it's way (even saw some forsythia blooming today), so that won't be too much of a problem here soon.

birthday spankings and step grandmas

2011-03-10T15:27:00.001-08:00

Birthday spankings were a staple on birthdays when Gpa and Gma Lee were there. Sometimes we'd forget about it, and he'd catch us unawares. I remember the terror. But not really. Sad that we didn't notice when it stopped. Only years later did I stop and remember, and realize what we'd forgotten.

This post is a small tribute to my grandpa who just passed away yesterday morning. Good to have him join my Grandma Fay. Sad for my Grandma Helen. She's the best thing that could have happened to him since we lost our first grandma.

Helen's kept him young and relevant. Hope I'm as ambitious as she is when I'm her age. And hope the Beckmans don't mind continuing to share her!

woohoo!

2011-03-08T07:40:00.000-08:00

I finally finished my update on the business plan I've been working on. What an overhaul- more like rewriting it almost from scratch. It pretty much is totally original, with nothing I had written in previous renditions. On the other hand, in principle it contains everything and more of what was in the original. For those who know me and understand all of what I'm trying to accomplish, it will be obvious. But for the rest, it may take some rereading to recognize where it all went. It's all there, I assure you.

But elements that were played up hardcore before are now relegated to more delicate corners, not being emphasized in direct and commandeering ways. It's has a lot to do with relationships of why certain things are done, and in what order.

If you want to read it, (which I have my doubts, as well intentioned as some of you may be) you can view it in google docs at the following link:

http://docs.google.com/View?id=dhqr4xrg_164cctwvvcr

It's an innovative mixture of a lot of things, and actually pretty insightful as far as building and maintaining a creative business. But would you, could you expect anything less? I am known as Mr. Detail, am I not? Not to be self aggrandizing- it's just my style to work and rework an idea in my head until I understand exactly what's going on and how it all fits.

I'll probably update this one eventually. (it's draft number I-don't-even-know)

Considering my revulsion of the school-title subject known as "English," who'd a thought I could pound out a 15 page document like this in about a week? (not that I claim to be easy to read- but it at least goes to show that why we do something is as important as what we do in finding success at 'it'.) (Can't help but stick my educational opinion in when I have the chance)

Proof that Learning Can Be Fun

2011-03-04T06:33:00.001-08:00

Had to repost this when I found it. I think Animaniacs had something to do with the epidemic of ADD thereafter.. Bless 'em.

Reasoning of Reality: Everyone's Best Interest

2011-03-03T07:54:00.000-08:00

After discussing it with a friend and coming to some realizations, I've decided to post the 3D theater I created last year. No, I still don't own a commercial license yet. At first I was of the opinion that since my goals with the theater were commercial in scope, it warranted me getting the license first, then posting it. But as I consider the ideas of copyright and such, it's more a function of whether I am taking away opportunities for revenue by my actions. And since I'm not actually benefitting financially from posting it, it seems to not fall in that category. Further, if and as soon as this concept does make money, my first priority will be buying a commercial license. One of my many goals is to start a branch of computer animation within my company.

My reasons for posting it come in the way of testing some thoughts regarding discovering possibilities in it's usage.

At first I was taking myself very seriously: considering myself as a viable commercial establishment and everything.. but after thinking, I realized that that would require me actually profiting in real dollars. So until I do, I should consider this all for the sake of education.. posting it will allow me to test some ideas in regards to possible usage. If I end up with a money making tool, Maya will be the first to directly benefit from my success.

By the way, and just so you know, it not perfect by any stretch of the imagination; I am in the middle of creating the internal view of the lobby that will be incorporated into it, and I'm not currently near a computer whereby I can finish it. That will have to come later.

To see and experience the new theater facade go to my homepage and click the movie theater link, or the popcorn at the bottom right of the screen.

And now my mind is tired..

2011-02-28T07:03:00.000-08:00

This week has been strange to me. That's because I've been working on a project that I never really expected to do- that is to articulate from start to finish the educational theory of my nonprofit endeavor.

Some of my friends that read this blog are aware that over time, I have come realize and cling to some rather distinct ideas in regards to education, as well as take some (some would say) rather drastic steps to orient myself accordingly. Whether that's true is irrelevant. What's important is that recently, circumstances have led me to a point where I was empowered to be able to fully articulate the reasoning behind my theories for the first time. It's a twenty-six page document laying bare my mind and process.

It's an intimidating thing to express one's mind, especially when it's something so personal. This stuff I have been working on, essentially, most of my life. It makes me what I am because it informs my mind and reinforces my life and choices, as well as validates my choices and where I'm headed.

Only thing is, it needs to be edited. I'm not what I'd consider a writer, more like a self absorbed stream-of-consciousness recorder, of necessity making concessions for an intended audience; I just relay my thoughts in the way that I think, and it doesn't always come off as it should.

I look forward to sharing it with those interested. Let me know if you'd like to read it.

Only in America

2011-02-25T20:17:00.000-08:00

An utter riot. I haven't laughed so hard in a while..

My Short Film Uploaded on Youtube

2011-02-17T12:20:00.000-08:00

I finally decided to post my short film, "In Excelsis" on youtube in it's entirety. This way it'll be more exposure, it won't take three years to load, and folks who could never get it to work can watch it for sure.

I had to cut it into two pieces due to length restrictions, so you have to navigate a little. To watch it, go to my channel: http://www.youtube.com/user/benjisgrill

I'd embed it here, but youtube doesn't allow me to link the two files automatically, and it becomes frustrating and confusing to navigate from part 1 to part 2. Best just to open my channel to readily access both parts. Happy viewing.

I'm in UT. Things are good.

2011-02-16T09:11:00.000-08:00

Told you there was more to come.

I guess a little more detail is warranted though.

Never really expected this, but UT is great. Where I live is actually a lot like CA. Actually, it's just like CA, except the temperature is way different, and no palm trees. But the demographics are almost identical. Who'd a thought? And at church, none of what I feared has manifest itself. The folks are really accessible and real, and I am sincerely validated as I go. The 'Curse of Happy Valley' is nowhere to be seen. And I thank God. So I really like South Salt Lake.

Now that that's covered, let me get on with things.

I'm working on a revised, well, more like entirely overhauled business plan. Most of my faithful blog audience is familiar with my 'nonprofit' business plan.. that happened to have many iterations over the course of a year or so.

Well, the time has come to completely rework and revamp it to match what it has become over the interim. To say a lot has happened since then is an understatement; things have led my thought process and informed my perspective in ways that have greatly enlarged my frame of reference, and in fundamental ways. Those who read the earlier version will be pleasantly surprised to see the changes and adaptations..

I have been amazed at the evolution of things as I've followed the uncharted paths I've felt strangely (and illogically) led in over the last few years. I never would have expected all that has occurred, but as I've trusted and acted on what I was sensing, I have been instructed and assisted, educated and helped to understand how more fully my existing plans could be adapted to incorporate unexpected (but now necessary) elements.. actually bringing together more disparate aspects of my personal goals in a way that creates one, unified objective.

So without any further bantering, this is the stated goal of the developing business plan: (I'm going to post developments here as I find it enlightening or helpful in my process)

"I seek to create a cutting edge film production and distribution company that takes advantage of top industry innovations while incorporating many of it's own unique insights gathered through in-house research and discovery."

These innovations and insights fall within three major categories.

First, Collaborative Process. Pixar Animation Studios is a category all on it's own. An unprecedented string of box office smashes is more than a result of good luck, and demands a deep and thorough inspection of their methods. Using Pixar's innovative model will drastically increase our chances of box office success. ThirdofEight Pictures is currently developing and testing it's own unique model of collaborative creativity predominantly based on the processes outlined by the Ed Catmull, the president of Pixar Animation Studios. He gave a play by play of their internal dynamics in an article published through the Harvard Business Review titled, "How Pixar Fosters Collective Creativity." In the article he goes into remarkable detail as to the principles and practices behind the unique success rate of Pixar. Certain application of principles allow the company the ability to be unusually inviting and comfortable to employees while keeping an exceptionally high level of creativity. By incorporating and integrating processes based on these same principles, ThirdofEight Pictures expects to see the same degree of success.

Second, Distribution and Marketing Practices. The internet has caused significant shifts in how companies can successfully market their movies, both in decreased costs and more direct access to targeted audiences. Thanks to the research of both Peter Broderick of www.peterproderick.com and Scott Kirsner of www.scottkirsner.com, these two men have helped pave the way of many in clarifying and teaching best practices in this new and developing territory. Their research is incredibly instructive and valuable in building an effective approach to marketing films in this new era.

Further, the digital revolution has already forever changed the film production process. Very soon it will directly and drastically affect the fundamental manner by which films are theatrically viewed; by 2012 at least the five top movie houses in the US will almost exclusively use digital projection (see their respective websites: AMC, Regal, Cinemark, Carmike, Cineplex). This fact will alter the dynamic of the theatrical film distribution system by essentially eliminating all previously existing financial barriers to entry which, until then, have prevented smaller productions from gaining theatrical runs in the past (wikipedia>digital cinema>Economics>Impact on Distribution).

An individual film print for a single screen can cost in the ballpark of fifteen hundred to over two thousand dollars a piece. If you have two or three screens in twelve hundred theaters across the country, it comes out to an exorbitant amount of money- in the millions of dollars. As digital projection takes hold, this cost will fall to virtually nothing.

Finally, the playing field will be leveled, and quality of content will trump a simple deep pocketbook. ThirdofEight Pictures will be poised perfectly to take advantage of this new development.

And third, Work Environment. Through development of a unique and original system of living conditions, ThirdofEight Pictures seeks the continued building up of individual employee's creative capacity in order to help assure market domination. Maintaining an unusually high standard of living will further help the company to maximize overall company creative capacity.

'Hollywood,' (or not) by Michael Buble

2011-02-14T13:39:00.000-08:00

And I meant to share this one a week or two ago. Made it on facebook, but neglected my faithful blog readers. You'll like this one, I promise.

Sweet.

2011-02-14T13:33:00.000-08:00

Another one. Awesome.

2011-02-14T13:28:00.000-08:00

And since I'm on a roll, I want to share a music video I found to be incredibly evocative, or at least it captures something fascinating I hope to see in my own work. Something other-worldly but sincere. Enjoy.

for your enjoyment.

2011-02-14T13:24:00.000-08:00

Here's a sweet choral version of the Metallica song, "Nothing Else Matters." I really like what I hear. Often music is put in a box due circumstance. But when heard in a different context, it seems to take on new meaning.

A video

2011-02-14T13:13:00.000-08:00

Some friends of mine made this video, edited by my roommate.

I'm now in UT, in South Salt Lake.

More info to follow..

The Time and the Season

2011-01-31T07:01:00.000-08:00

I've been experimenting lately with my ideas in regards to building a reliable collaborative process. I've been studying; reading and trying different things and come up with a pretty strong idea of what it will look like: I'm attempting to move towards an ideal I've been hero worshiping for some time: Pixar Animation Studios.

While it's a high bar to shoot for, I don't think it's unrealistic. As far as I'm concerned, if they found a way to do it right, it's simply a matter of quantifying and distilling what they do down to it's basic principles, and then duplicating it. And that's exactly what I'm trying to do. Further, it helps that Ed Catmull, the president of said studios, has written a 20 pg. essay on how they do it. Bless 'em for their openness and insight.

And as early as it is, I must say I am very encouraged by what I have thus experienced and seen as a result of my prototype(s), mixing and matching ideas, people, and timing. And I've learned stuff through hands-on experimentation that I never would have grasped otherwise. It was represented, but really didn't stand out in the documentation (which is quite detailed), but still is rather significant from a manager's standpoint.

My goal is to have our process well enough established so that when I finally have access to real budget, I don't have to spend valuable time experimenting, but can get right with it with a real production.

**

For the longest while, I've said I was ready for collaboration simply because I was sick of doing everything myself. Actually, the more I do it, (collaborate) the more I become addicted to it.. forget doing it out of necessity; it's got to be one of the most satisfying and fulfilling things I've ever done. It's a little challenging at first.. if one's accustomed to 'doing it all yourself,' but trust me, it's unbelievable when you see the resulting magic that happens as you empower others to utilize their own particular strengths/capacities to further your objectives. I really can't get enough.

Anticipated and Unexpected Changes

2011-01-24T16:36:00.000-08:00

Well, this has been an eventful week or two.

Good news: I got a plane ticket and leave for UT on the 5th of February.

Bad/traumatic news? My diet is amidst an earth shattering shift. Granted it's a real blessing to have the condition diagnosed, and my health care providers are great all around. I'm really blessed to have them.

What they found specifically requires a little background though.

I have a condition called eosiniphilic esophagitis. It means swelling of the esophagus due to an allergic reaction to the point where it, in time, makes it rigid and difficult to swallow things. Food gets stuck and won't go up or down. When it doesn't move, your body kicks on the big mucus guns to try and force it down. Mixed with this is air that you swallow naturally. As you can imagine, it becomes quite a mess. I have to make myself vomit intentionally in order to solve the problem.. and learn to chew my food especially well.

And now an additional problem is that I can no longer make myself throw up. I have lost the ability to do so. (Maybe I should become a sword swallower) Obviously I need a more long-term solution.

First the doc clears my esoph with a scope. Then later, for more long-term functionality, the doctor dilates my swallower with a long rubber balloon thing, and actually stretch it so it can fit more food. (That was a rather painful day or two following, not fun) This was the big expensive stuff he did that I referred to in my last post.

Unfortunately though, there's a danger in this because there is a history of people actually having their swallower's get little tears, even getting perforating during this process. This is bad. Very bad. Actually, this would most likely escalate into a life threatening condition because 1. my internal body cavity would get massive infection and 2. I wouldn't be able to eat anything until it all healed. Add to that my acid reflux and you'd have recipe for disaster (understatement of the decade) So no, this is not the way I want to go.

So the GE (gastroenterologist) doc sent me to an allergist a couple weeks ago in hopes of discovering just what allergy is causing this condition, and 4 days ago, I got the results. And as feared by him, things are unfortunately still not cut and dry. Rather than one big, significant allergy (this was the hope), I have a bunch of 'moderate and low' level allergies.

So what this means is I have to restrict my diet (I still can't believe this even as I write this) until I can figure out which or what is causing the problem.

***

I have good news though considering the dietary hell I seem to be falling into. Upon learning of the necessity of my new diet, I began it immediately. Rice, veggies, fruit, fruit juice, meat, repeat. Or so I thought. After clearing my body of all the off-limits stuff for a few days, I've been doing some playing around testing the foods on my list, and I do think that I'm starting to recognize things I didn't notice before.

Since I've been off of everything (sound like a ex drug addict) I'm paying more attention to how stuff feels going down, and I do think I'm sensing a difference when things are provoking my esoph. It's this weird prickly, ichy, annoying sensation, almost rash like, but inside my esoph.

If my deductions are correct, this phenomenon would allow me to more quickly sift through the list without having to get scoped EVERY time I change my diet..

And to be honest, as inconvenient as this all is, I'm really not totally broken up about it now (except for not having an easy source of calcium)..but what it REALLY does is take out all the garbage foods out of my diet- things that I probably shouldn't be eating anyway.. and forces me to eat more healthy as a lifestyle. I guess that's not so bad when I see it that way.

Swallowing is Fun.

2011-01-11T11:40:00.000-08:00

Christmas is over, but the gift giving continued far past the 25th of December. Recently I had a hospitilization/ER experience that resulted, ultimately, in the ringing up of some substantial medical bills. And while, in reality, I still have a 'hefty' four figure bill to cover, I want to take the opportunity to say thank you, and tell those listening, that there are some wonderful, selfless people out there in this world, and that includes some who have significant resources and abilities. For reasons not elaborated on here, this gastroenterologist, in his friendship motivated unselfishness, freely insisted (without my involvement or request- I had made payment arrangements already when it came to pass) that his office forgive and write off my ENTIRE cost of the procedures. (remaining bill is unconnected to this office, and I gladly look forward to paying it off.. SO thankful the medical care is available) That means, in truth, that HE actually paid ME to get my procedure done, when you look at the whole picture: employees wages, pharmaceutical expense, prepping the room, the equipment, insurance, his education (years and years of it- he's a surgical MD specialist), the time he gave to actually do the procedure, AND the fact he could have taken the time to work on someone who he knew (in his mind) would be paying him.

So when folks rail and moan about the world, I'm one that has to admit, gladly, that there are good- great people in this world. And I'm so grateful they found me when I needed it.

Too Funny to Not Get It's Own Post

2010-12-29T13:27:00.000-08:00

For those of you who haven't seen this on facebook, I thought I'd share it. It's incredibly hilarious and deserves another shout-out. One of the great concessions of our materialistic culture: sweet commercials.

Cars, Smoke & Mirrors

2010-12-18T10:24:00.000-08:00

Well, yesterday was interesting.

First I get in my car, and the rearview mirror had fallen off due to the high amount of humidity aka frost on the inside of the car. That was the first sign of a bad day for automobility. Then as I was getting out while it was warming up, I noticed as I slammed the door that the engine stuttered. Then as I was driving away (was 2 1/2 blocks from the house) the car engine quit, smoke started emitting from the hood (just a little), then my steering column immediately began spewing acrid, foul smelling grey smoke.. I had no sense to open the window as I was more concerned about fire exploding in my face than nastiness in my lungs.

Anyway, one walk home, one tow trip later (thanks dad), I'm noticing that my headlights won't work, the dome light is dead, the gas gauge is trippy (the needle is now appearing in the window below it) and I can't access the wires in the column to see if it simply shorted out. And now the ground wire to my battery is sparking/arching like is SHOULDN'T be. I no longer wonder why some people decide to trade in their fairly new cars every few years. I think I'm gonna be one of them when circumstances allow. I'm sick of old cars and their incessant problems. And I just replaced a brake line last week. That is added to the list- water pump, serpentine belt, spark plug wires, circuit board, muffler (x3).. and the driver's inside door handle doesn't work, so I gotta roll down the window every time I open the door. For the longest time I also had a serious draw on my battery, and I'd have to replace it every time I turned around. Turns out the dumb clock on the dash drew enough power to kill it every time I left for 6 months. Now at least I have the understanding to pull the fuse.

So now, the question is, find a way to UT, or work and save up here until I can get some reliable transportation. Ah, another day in the life of an american roma.

ps I would be entirely ungrateful to not mention the serendipitous, unusual convenience of this inconvenience in that I wasn't half way to UT when it occurred.. and that I stopped in the middle of an exit to a parking lot, and that one perfect parking place was available just ahead so all I had to do was slowly turn (as I pushed it in neutral down an ever so slight decline) and leave it for retrieval while I walked the incredibly short distance. Laus deo.

Blackburn vs. Roche

2010-12-16T09:44:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking. I'm still early enough in my professional career to change my name. I know, I know. It's kinda a less done thing for those behind the camera. And still less a topic of discussion on a public blog. But still, I don't care.. the idea behind it is mostly to have some separation of my professional career and identity from my private one. And since I haven't made my legal name a point of reference, I don't mind the publicity this post could generate in the somewhat distant future.

So I've been thinking about me and my identity. What got me on this tangent is that I'm transferring my family's old videos and seeing footage of deceased grandparents and such.

At first, I chose to use the name Roche in order to capture the essence of a lost family heritage- a name that technically my immediate family should carry, but due to the illegalities of my great-grandfather's decisions, was whitewashed. I have a preoccupation with culture, and the fact that I've felt mine was wiped clean motivated me to take on a piece of the past.

But now, I'm beginning to wrap my head and heart around the actual heritage, good and bad, that is mine (separate from the cultural one which is still rather absent) as a result of what has made me who I am- that of the strength and intensity that I got from my mother's line.

Without a doubt, and hands down, this is the most significant inheritance and influence on my personal development. It only makes sense that I would take on a piece of that in my name. My dad gave me my first name, so it seems right that I'd represent my mother in my public surname. Further, 'Blackburn' feels more familiar in that it's a name that I'm already accustom to applying to myself, even if infrequently.

And, just for the sake of PR, it makes great alliteration with my first name. I also like the concreteness of the familiar word roots as opposed to the anglo-norman/french.. Good strong anglo-saxon or english. The syllables work good too.

What do you think?

A Different Kind of Resume

2010-12-12T08:14:00.000-08:00

Well, after talking with my buddy in UT, I've decided to just go for it with the Salt Lake thing. No, I haven't been contacted by the supervisor, or had an interview. But what I do know is that the application process in this situation is irrelevant. They don't look at resumes. In fact, I was told they post those job openings online strictly out of obligation, rather than preference.

And it makes perfect sense for what I had already gathered of the situation up to this point. Typically in this business, that of production, workers are rarely hired full-time EVER (they're project based, and when the project ends, employment ends). And when they are, it's only after vetting that such are even remotely considered. In this situation it translates into their on-call worker list. And a few weeks ago I was already 'called' and asked if I could be available to work (before the app was submitted). This is the part where the nepotism comes into play. If you don't know somebody, and they know your capacity, how are you gonna know to be called? This is what has become a barrier to entry in this business. Well, that and the union (which doesn't apply in this situation).

So essentially what this means is you have to be at the right place at the right time.. aka just go, meet someone (or already know them- networking from previous work and/or relationships), pray work's available, start doing the on-call bit, and things will work out great; they find out if they like you by how you work with them, quality of your work, etc. A typical resume can't show this stuff, and in production it's the most important part, including how you fit within the existing personality dynamic.

It's not only not surprising that I was loth to complete the application and resume.. I should have questioned why they were even requiring it; it was awkward because I was out of practice, and I was out of commission because it's an outdated method. So be it. At least it made me articulate those things for a current record for some future family history writer.

And yet, besides all this, including my tendency to begin sentences with fragments, I have a place to stay (UT), a car to drive (with recently fixed brake line installed).. and SLC is half way to California; if things fall flat, I'll get on the road and finish the journey south (from CDA, it's actually over an hour shorter to go the I-15 route rather than the I-5, which we usually take- not my decision).

So around the first of the year, prepare for another chapter in the life of an american gypsy.

Perspective

2010-12-06T21:20:00.000-08:00

It's a strange feeling thinking that a close family member could die.

What got me thinking about this was a picture on my desktop.

For those not aware, my brother Scott contracted acute lymphoblastic leukemia, a type of blood cancer, 4 years ago. The picture I viewed is of him sitting on his bed at Sacred Heart Med Center after he'd lost his hair, was on these steroids that made him get chubby cheeks, and he's looking at the camera, but sorta is spacing out. He really is pathetic in it.. especially the look on his face.. it's depressing- his body language is tired and rather dejected..

Earlier today my mom found his two-week medication container; it has flip tops for each day of the week. We had a slight interaction regarding how it brings bad memories.. and then I see this pic and I think this post's opening line.

In contrast with the photo, currently my brother is in the bloom of health; you wouldn't even know it all happened. That's what makes the picture so poignant- anyone, at any time, could have something fall into their metaphorical lap, and life could change instantly. What we see as commonplace and normalcy is a great illusion; don't get caught up in the lie that it's all going to always be, I unsuccessfully try to tell myself. I'm grateful for moments like this. Theyhelp me to realize, not just theorize, that life is different than so often we presume.. normalcy makes us complacent rather than appreciative. So I embrace these burst of remembrance that help me to regain a sense of things as they truly are.

Sorry if this post depresses any of you, but that's just it. The default in life is depressing. May we accept it for what it is without breaking and smile for the remainder of the time, when 'nothing' is going on, because nothing sure is something to be grateful for!

First Presidency Christmas Devotional

2010-12-06T10:45:00.000-08:00

Just in case you missed it, or didn't know it was going on.. This is a beautiful devotional of music and words to help usher in the Christmas Season.

Enjoy!

(sorry for the autoplay, I can't figure out how to prevent this particular player from initiating)

Hair Cut and a New Terabyte Hard Drive

2010-12-04T08:37:00.000-08:00

I like to put my info in my title so I don't have to make long blog posts. It comes from a deep-seated animosity toward the request of teachers back in high school and college that made me expound seemingly endlessly on contextually irrelevant and/or uninteresting topics. I'd rather sit and stare at a wall, which I have been know to do while trying to wring out of my brain collections of words during one of those pointless paper writing sessions. Granted, if it's something directly related to my life I can usually spout off for days, typing up 20 page documents without much trouble.. so I venture to blame the problem on the purpose and process ('modern' ed theory and system) rather than the person (me). My favorite bone to pick if you know anything of my journey in education.

But back to the original idea re: papers and the teachers that imposed them:

Call me jaded, but that intense disdain remains. After all these years. (10+ to not be exact, since high school, at least)

And not unrelated, I like that this post has thus far had nothing whatsoever to do with the title.

Every man is a king, his computer his sword, and his website his kingdom.

'Tis the Season

2010-11-30T10:23:00.000-08:00

We've been doused with snow for days now. It just keeps comin'. I love it. Only thing is, we had over a foot of dense white on the ground and I hadn't retrieved my car from the back 40 until yesterday. Good thing ol' betsy is a powerhouse. I ended up shoveling all around it, turning it around, and slamming the pedal to the floor. I got stuck two or three times, but not for long. I just backed 'er up and done it agin. She's out.

This weather is like what I'd imagine as the good ol' days. Incredibly scenic.

We got our Christmas tree this week. It's over 10 ft. tall. I just realized how manic this post is becoming. Sorry if I'm hard to follow.

The internal hard drive on my imac burned up. I think it's because I left it powered on, it got woken up, and stayed on in an enclosed space for months.. Generally macs do okay staying on for long periods of time, but considering the age of the machine, and the fact that is was running.. the drive gave up the ghost.

Word to the wise.. a six month sabbatical is worth powering down.

So I will soon be the proud owner of a new hitachi terabyte hard drive.. all for the price of $59.00. I was pretty impressed with the price. I got it through otherworldcomputing.com. That's the same company I bought my removable terabyte hard drive from last summer. Good quality, great prices.

Deja vu. Strange.

And I've applied for a digital video production job in another state (besides CA and ID). We'll see if I get it. Things are at a point right now where it makes perfect sense on many levels.. so hopefully that comes through. If not, it will be back to CA for this guy. Wish me luck!

If you haven't viewed my film In Excelsis online, and wish to, go to theater.thirdofeight.com and click the ticket button. If you have or have had trouble, email me at thirdofeightpictures@gmail.com and let me know so we can solve your issue if we can.

Benji

Safe and Sound

2010-11-23T13:41:00.000-08:00

Wow, what a trip. We braved the crazy weather this weekend in northern California and lived to tell about it. Just in case you haven't been watching the news, there's been some rather untimely winter weather up and down the west coast. We saw slide offs, and even a car on it's side.. even went 35 miles an hour for a good portion of the trip. Just glad we were driving in a large heavy suburban, and our driver was exceedingly conservative. Once or twice we had just about a white out on the road, it was so extreme.

We also had a close encounter with what forever shall remain nicknamed as the 'bates motel' experience:
In Kennewick near the river the snow was piling up and people were freaking out the car.. I, who really wanted to get home that night was even thinking stopping was a favorable idea.. Needless to say, we pulled off at the first opportunity... I had my doubts considering the absence of any motel signs.. etc. and I was the navigator.

One of us jumped out and was knocking on the door of the office.. for like 3-5 minutes.. as the snow swirled around him amidst the dusky dark. And strangely nobody came.. nobody came...

Because of the weather, we were desperate, so didn't so much pay attention when we pulled in (actually I did- I should say they) because everything was blanketed, burgeoning billowing, blowing white.. But then as we sat there, we took the time to really pay attention to this place, and both I and the driver looked at each other... .. the sign was 3 or more types of lettering mixed together, the neon sign was a working, but had a sort of old pretension of Las Vegas.. the building old, disheveled and unkept.. the price was unusually low... it was directly across from a railroad yard... it was a large industrial area.. need I give anymore details?

We left. Glad we got ahold of ourselves. It also helped that the driver had just seen a documentary on bedbugs, and his additional insight that there was a tendency of some places in that price range to not change their linen after each stay.. Hmm.

You get what you pay for. There's a reason it's a saying.

Funny thing is, after we passed the river, it cleared up significantly.. We made it clear to Post Falls, ID before it got that bad again, but we were 15 min from home, so we braved the remainder of the way.

My Song In The Night

2010-11-20T17:26:00.000-08:00

Enjoy this. I find this music remarkably moving.

I recommend changing it to 720p on the righthand bottom. Don't know if it improves the audio though.

Packed.. and all sorts of stuff unrelated to Film

2010-11-19T21:01:00.000-08:00

Well, I'm finally off and running tomorrow back up to the land of the north. Lots going on. I'll report on those details later.. but I'm looking forward to a change of venue and sort of a break in the routine.

With the advent of this trip, I've been organizing my electronic data, which is quite a job. I have a terabyte drive, as well as a drive of my mom's that I needed to get back to her, so I've been transferring files, deleting and such.. shifting and arranging.. Let me tell ya, it was high time. Sooo much stuff to go through and eliminate in time..

I have over 800 gigs of stuff on it now.. (video take up tons of space- yes, video guy).

On an unrelated note, I've been practicing my new viola quite a bit. And I'm excited to actually be progressing. I got to play a musical number last Sunday in church, in all my imperfect glory..

My shifting has begun taking a few nice steps forward, but has some solidifying to do. I'm actually getting more comfortable to a point where I don't even have to know what position I'm in, it's more a function of aural memory and relative positioning of fingers and such. It's really quite remarkable how you can train your fingers, ears and spatial awareness to interact like that. Love it.

That said, that Jenny Oaks Baker really is an inspiration from a string playing standpoint. Her sound is so uninterrupted as she transfers strings.. I am really impressed how you don't even know when she's crossing strings. That is a never ending problem with my playing until recently..

I am so happy to report though that I'm getting better as I analyze and practice and work at it and view others that are successful in my objectives.

It also helped this week when, after noticing two of my strings coming literally unraveled, I swiped newer strings from my older viola.. which is now completely destitute and naked of strings..

I'd been told by the viola luthier that two of my strings were superior in their sound to the others, and he was right.

Until, that is, I changed the strings. Now they all sound incredible. Just another moment of subtle appreciation and growing into a deeper understanding of just what it takes to make a stellar sound on a string instrument. Funny how my perspective is changing dramatically even after playing for almost 20 years. (Did I just say that on a public blog? Oh well, there are perks to looking 17- haha. I'm "laughing last")

Further, I can't emphasize how I'm anticipating the upcoming opportunity to teach my little niece who's going to begin learning the violin. She's such a little precious kid, and smart as a whip.

We'll see how that goes..

Trial Run

2010-11-10T19:39:00.000-08:00

I'm trying a system called "Eventful" where I can measure the interest of people across the country in order to know where there is demand for my product. Essentially, if you are interested in seeing my film in the theater near you, click on the link and record your interest. Over time, it builds up a database of all the locations and stats to help me know who and where I should show my stuff.

Right now I'm just putting it out there.. it will become more significant when I actually have a feature film to put in the theater.. obviously. That day will be coming soon though.

Look in the righthand column under my website link list. Click on the image and follow the prompts if you wish to record your demand.

Watch this, when you have some time..

2010-11-09T11:41:00.000-08:00

I talked about this video previously on facebook, but wanted to share it with my readers. It is utterly beautiful and stunning.

Some of you don't know, but I play the viola. Recently my parents were so thoughtful to special order a hand crafted viola from our cousin, Bryon Blackburn in South Jordan, UT, who is a luthier, or string instrument maker. It is gorgeous. The sound is beyond anything I've played. But it also takes a deft hand to get a good sound, no matter what. This video inspires me to really take it seriously and get even better.. enjoy.

Good news for me

2010-11-06T18:39:00.000-07:00

I'm excited because I get to travel back to Coeur d'Alene (CDA) to spend the holidays with my family and earn a few buck working with my brother-in-law. He and my sister run a business putting Christmas lights on and off people's houses. If you want his info, leave a comment.

But like I was saying, in a few weeks we'll take off and I'll spend some time with fam. What other guy in the world could do this besides me in this situation? I am SO blessed. I mean, it's not like I'm always in the most desirable situations due to my living arrangement, but this sure is rewarding and fun while it lasts.

I'm especially looking forward to teaching my little niece some string lessons. She is the most precious little kid. Her mom is surprising her (shhhhh, don't be a jerk and tell her) and we're gonna see how far she can go for the month or so I'm there. (I taught her some bow hand stuff a little while ago and she ate it up and remembers like it just happened. So her mum and dad are indulging and we'll see what happens. I'm big on the whole education thing, though I don't want to exclusively teach.. though in the future, a big part of my business will involve it. More on that later when the time is right.

Anyway, another thing of note is that I'm going to try and organize a Public Christmas Concert in the CDA area. The theory behind it is an opportunity to share our talents with the community and build relationships through solo and ensemble performances of popular classic Christmas carols. There's a Messiah Sing-in thing, and that's great, but this will be a bit more contemporary. The Messiah thing is the introduction of the Christmas season, whereas this hopefully will occur the very week before Christmas. The idea is to do it once people's families have arrived, and are sitting around, shopping, and wrapping presents.

The idea came last year while I was caroling with a group of friends. We had diligently practiced a whole lot before Thanksgiving, and we sounded really solid (in truth I had hand picked them and invited them to sing.. call me a choral elitist.) and we went around and sang for a bunch of little places.

I gotta say, it was THE most uplifting, inspiring, joyous (truly) Christmas I have ever had. That music does something to you.

Additionally, we were able to further contribute by singing in church the week before Christmas, and one after actually.

But when all was said and done, it left me wanting for more. Why stop there, right?

As we were going around, I got this idea. I'm a little gutsy, and like to take risks (social risks, that is) and extend myself if I see I can accomplish something big and cool. Seeing what both the Tabernacle Choir in UT does every year (they have a 'sold out' Christmas Concert every year, but it's free) as well as what the religious community is doing with the Messiah thing, this idea popped in my head.

***

So now, I'm on the lookout for fun, interesting and willing participants that wouldn't mind contributing the greater good of our fine community by performing the week before Christmas. We don't have a venue nailed down yet, but I am began moving in that direction today.

Let me know if you have any ideas, contributions, or people that may want to participate.

In the meantime, if any of you outside of the CDA area are interested in putting a caroling group together, and need some solid music, see the link to the right- 'caroling music.' It links to the list of our repetoire from last year. There are some great songs in there, and it's all public domain. Feel free to access and use it as you wish. Better get on it though, as the season approaches fast! Further, if you decide to pursue it, there may be a few little things I'd share with you in the music- little tweaks I had to do to some of it.. and I can't remember if those are the versions I scanned in.

Talking to Myself

2010-11-03T12:52:00.000-07:00

I love making films. Have I ever said that to anybody? Just getting this web thing, and going through it all to get this film up online, (it's been a PAIN) and going back and watching it again today (yes, I have to, not for ego, but for troubleshooting, etc... I am my own web admin, hello) it reminds me of why I got into this business in the first place.

I've said before that you know you've done your job when you can watch your own work and forget where and when things were made. And I am so there.

I remember making a post like this in the past. Sorry if it annoys you, but it just never ceases to amaze me how exciting it is to make films. I can't wait to make another one (hopefully with a bigger budget).

How this stream of consciousness started was the thought, "I love awkward moments." On film, anyway. Capturing the human experience and conveying it to an audience, reproducing it in their perspective.. that is so cool. It's sorta like playing God, I guess, in a good way. It's the ultimate creative experience. What a rush.

Ah, I made the right career choice! Do you know how validating that is?

Early For a Change

2010-11-02T23:51:00.000-07:00

I coded and made the film available today. Yep. It's there. Maybe a few bugs, (let me know) but I think it works. It's sort of a 30 minute investment all the way around though, so be prepared.

Can I say what a relief it is to have it up? It may be unwise to announce it too widely until I know a few people have been able to view it without hitches.. which is why I'm not announcing it on facebook just yet. But if you check the blogs, or have subscribe to any of my feeds, you will know it's there. I'm pretty proud of it.

We live in the strangest times. I love it. I'm streaming a film I paid for and shot. What a world! Hopefully this is a very small (but not so small when you see the work that's gone into everything) beginning to a very productive and exciting future!

FYI you need quicktime installed on your computer in order to view it.

theater.thirdofeight.com

(Thanks for the head's up Dale)

Good news.

2010-11-01T17:52:00.000-07:00

Okay, so another flash of inspiration for the interested few. I am gonna just skip the formal theater for now. I wanna show my film this holiday season, and I have come to grips with the fact the Maya won't be nailed down. So.. I'm currently in the middle of coding a few pages so I can FINALLY share my film, in excelsis for all the world to see. I think it's a better marketing strategy anyway, so it's all good. Then when the theater's all up and up, you can come back just for that. It'll be worth it.

The Coming Collapse of the Studio System (you haven't seen anything yet)

2010-10-23T06:40:00.000-07:00

I was doing some distribution research yesterday when I perchanced upon a very interesting fact: that the 4 largest theatrical movie chains in the world have not only made commitments to, but have dates set to transition over to digital projection (Regal, National Amusements, Cinemark, AMC) . We're not just talking about 3D, one-ofs. Until fairly recent, it's been cost prohibitive for them. But it seems collaboration and market dynamics have come together to solve problems. And my word for the big studios? Watch out because we're coming for you.

Not that we have anything personal against you. Some of us, I for one, am grateful for the contribution some of you have honestly made to the popular culture of our day. But make no mistake about it, unless they can evolve like corporations of the past, they will die. Why, do you say? Well, let me explain:

One could say that the very thing that has prevented great quality independent film of from gaining momentum and clout in the industry has been one thing.

First understand what I assume is obvious- that there's an overabundance of good to great indie film out there, ready to be shown.

Second, what is preventing them from being shown? Money? Well, yes, but not exactly. It's money to buy celluloid. Prints. The stuff they roll up into canisters and ship or deliver one by one to each respective theater. These lil' babies cost in the realm of 2000 dollars plus. AND, they scratch. So literally they are decaying every time you watch it. Not what I'd call a smart investment in overhead. But that's the system, or the way it's always been. So digital projection is just a smart business decision, no matter what. So what?

Some will scoff, and think this is not alone enough to cause the tidal wave catastrophe I'm referring to, but wait. I agree that the fact digital projection exists is not enough to cause such a deadly blow to the studios, but the fact that when barriers to entry aka money for prints (the celluloid I was talking about) of necessity disappear, suddenly content and quality become the determining factor in which films (misnomer, but roll with it cinephiles) are shown, and not who has the biggest pocketbook. I'm gonna make a jump here, and not explain this one. Go to you local theater and tell me what you think about all sorts of films 'reaching their potential..' Ugh.

But how will they advertise without studio budgets?? you say. Have you not been under a rock? Not to be insulting or impersonal, but anyone who's truly been attuned to what's gone on with social media and the like in the realm of film marketing knows that the serious effect I'm speaking of has already happened in this aspect of the biz: Because of things like facebook, twitter, and the blogosphere, marketing costs have necessarily tanked. Now I'm not saying this is an every-case phenomenon, but the economics behind it point to the cost going to zero.

And what does this mean to me? Well, as one who sits on the cusp (dental term) of his (hopefully) illustrious film career, and who soon may have access to not only equipment, but substantial financial resources, one can only guess what I'm hoping for in my not-so-distant future. I guess I am a little presumptuous to think the content of the films I help create will be in some way worth your time and attention. We will all learn soon enough of that. (I mean, really, if I can't believe in my product, why should I even be offering it?)

Add to it the Pixar Effect (what this means for my future and me personally, you will soon find out..), and you will have a combustible mix that will change the landscape forever. With no barriers to entry, and a (generally thought of) belief that indie films are better, the coming revolution will cause most of these megalith studios to go the way of the dinosaurs.

They may adjust, but history proves otherwise. In a culture built on vanity and immorality (trust me on this one, you don't want me to go into this. Just roll with it, even if it seems condescending or dogmatic.. I don't mean to be. If it is, I apologize. I'm just saying) you can't engineer this kind of adjustment. It's character based. Or, I guess they could go the way they always have to keep people hooked, aka. 'sex sells,' which they have, and will.

And then there's the possibility that a few will see the writing on the wall and realize that many of the their films just don't cut it. They'll look around and see what Pixar has done, and try to copy their model (my plan, actually, and then some). A few will succeed. I hope they do. Pixar's process is phenomenal, and good for the souls who work on their films. But even there, Pixar is not union, as their process precludes this. This will come as a crushing blow to many when this system becomes the norm.

So I'm going to qualify my prediction: if the studios don't start 'going to church,' and 'doing their homework' (figuratively, and maybe literally) it's times up. Or they'll just go further into the lurid territory filled with debauchery.. which, I think, will lead to their death because nowadays it's like cultural suicide; people have so much more choice, so there is created a preferential nuance based on perceived or real 'character of companies' that can really do damage if the public rejects what they seem to stand for.

And there you have it. Take it or leave it. (Not that it changes whether it's true)

Well, here it is

2010-10-19T14:09:00.000-07:00

After months and months, may I finally present the object of countless hours of work: my finished website.

I am quite happy with it. I'm really glad I took the time. It's going to be a great asset in the coming days.

Though not all links are live, all are finished, though one in particular will remain unlinked for the moment. That will come soon, I hope. Check it out. www.thirdofeight.com.

Pixar is the Bomb

2010-10-11T06:33:00.000-07:00

I recently found an article online that details the dynamics behind the most successful film business in the history of the industry: Pixar. I have been an admirer of theirs for some time, but not simply for what is obvious. Sure, the films are fantastic, but I was interested in learning WHY they've had such an unprecedented lineup of success. This is not only unusual, but impossible based on the generally accepted unpredictabilities of the film business.. so inconceivable that there had to be something peculiar in their approach.

My first insight into their methodologies was the documentary by Lesly Iwerks, The Pixar Story. It chronicles the development and drama behind-the-scenes of the company. This whet my appetite and gave me a glimpse of some of the unique qualities the company had.

For the longest time, this is all I had to go on. But last week I came upon an article put out by the Harvard Business Review that fulfilled every question I had. It was written by Ed Catmull, the president of Pixar, and titled How Pixar Fosters Collective Creativity.

I now know that the genius of Pixar is in it's culture: It embodying the principles of individual human freedom, worth, curiosity and creativity while retaining from employees otherwise fiercely relinquished rights amidst their professional peers: they are non-union. Boiled down, the corporation has found an ideal balance between freedom and control; the sweet spot for any business, and especially for Pixar.

Genius. Absolute genius.

FYI

2010-09-19T15:27:00.000-07:00

In case you wondered, no, I did not get a perm. That's actually just me. A recent discovery has solved the unruly problem of my wiry fro.

(One might think I should have realized it before reaching 30, as well as seeing that I have two sisters with the same phenom.. but I didn't.) (I don't exactly go around soliciting personal beauty tips, nor did I in this circumstance- it was imposed upon me by an insistent teenage girl)

Considering how drastic of a change it is for me, I thought I would do myself the favor and quell any thoughts to the contrary. I think of men's perms like I do mullets.

Hockity Pockity Whockity Wack; Odds and Ends 'n' Brick a' Brack

2010-07-24T21:06:00.000-07:00

Well, you may have noticed that I haven't got the site up yet. That's because we haven't acquired a commercial license for the CG software I used to build the theater. In order for me to incorporate it into my site, legally I'm supposed to have a license.. good news is, we plan to get it.. bad news is, I have to wait.. SO.... ugh. Sorry to do this AGAIN, but hey, if I had 3000 bucks to spend, I'd take care of the problem myself.

I'm so grateful my problems are so simplistic. And that I have been blessed miraculously with all the resources I need to succeed in my life's work.. just not in my own myopic time frame. Patience!

In the meantime, I've created a new little addition to the theatrical experience. Now, before the movie starts, the lights dim in the screening room..

So sweet!

(one benefit to all this delay is, not only I'm troubleshooting and improving my work, but it will be a bigger reveal because to most it will be a brand new experience. My only caveat then will be, DON'T USE INTERNET EXPLORER, or you won't enjoy the experience. I'm not an experienced enough coder to bypass or recreate the functionalities for that browser. I'm warning you! It is a NIGHTMARE. Use Safari, Google Chrome, or Firefox.. in order of functionality preference- if you don't want to install it now, don't worry, I'll remind you later)

Coding

2010-07-09T19:33:00.000-07:00

I'm stoked again, again. Since finishing my 3D theater, I've been set on coding it together in a user-friendly interface. Am I ever going to be finished? Maybe not. It seems in this new world of independent artistic expression this is what it takes to make it (from the research I have read and seen- no I don't simply live on dreams, contrary to the message I sometimes give off.. I have quite a lengthy bibliography to my methodologies if anyone ever cares to be interested)

One thing is certain- that with my incessant desire for self-described perfection I most definitely will never be finished.

Ah, javascript. Never thought I'd see the day when I'd be able to actually read website coding like a book. But the day came yesterday. And that includes CSS. I can't exactly write it off the cuff, but I'm actually starting to feel pretty comfortable with it all. It was surreal, actually. I felt a little nerdy.

But oh well. At least I can actually say now that I've successfully proofed my latest coding for Google Chrome, Safari and Firefox (internet explorer mostly works, with issues- something I didn't realize until BJ, my web designer pointed it out was how vastly different various browsers can take the same code and interpret it differently.) Besides, coding is cool. Didn't you know?

But regardless, my site is looking good, and I'm not constantly pulling my hair out. Maya had me totally frustrated there for a while and it looked questionable as to whether I would finish that project. But I made it past that hurdle, and here we are..

I keep saying that I'm almost there, etc. It is a little embarrassing and frustrating for me to see how long it's take for me to get where I'm at.

But short of one outstanding bill, I'm no more in debt than I was when I began this project. If I had gone to med school, I couldn't say the same. And been smack dab in the middle of sweeping government takeover. Let's just hope the gov't doesn't succeed at doing the same to the internet.

All the waiting. All the promises. It will all come together, and you, my patient fans will have a payoff. Thanks for waiting and caring!

Check out a few pics at wip.thirdofeight.com in the top right-hand corner.

Over the hurdle, On to the next step.. er after rendering

2010-06-12T14:27:00.000-07:00

Well, I can't believe it, but I finished it. The theater. I conquered miraculously this behemoth called Maya, or at least as much as my ideas required. I really had felt forlorn about some aspects, and pined away time wondering if it would ever be done. But here we are, the pain and anguish of learning a new program has passed.

So where is it, you ask? Rendering. Rendering for the next week, I'd wager. When you watch those behind-the-scenes CG specials, and they talk about rendering, they ain't a'jokin. This is going to take forever.

I decided to animate and create video rather than the original stills, which adds enormous processing time, each frame requiring it's own moment (or day) to process.

To give you an idea, the scene I created is so complex that I had to render it in layers, or passes. I understand that's absolutely typical in CG production. The reason I decided to do it had little to do with tradition, and everything to do with function- Maya would always give up the ghost when I would try and render it as a whole.

Not only did it finish rendering in layers, but I noticed that it goes a LOT faster when rendered in segments. And that's not just my lack of cumulative perspective. Something about the computer having to use more RAM I think is involved, and it just seems to take infinitely longer. Anyway, not that it means too much to most of you, but that is the skinny on my latest day-to-day.

Done. Done, done done. And I couldn't be more pleased with the results. I think you will too, once it's posted and linked as is planned. I am SO excited (and impatient) to see my whole website linked and functional. I've waited long enough.. my fault- limited resources and all- there are benefits to having a huge budget..

When it's all current and in context, I will be able to move on to the next level of my marketing and distribution plan, and that will be a good day. Hurry up and wait, they say. Yeah, hurry up, wait, but when the time comes, you'll be dashing again, so stay ready and fit.

I guess I'm patient. At least I'm not in debt, and I'm in control of my creative decisions. That's not even worth it's weight in gold.. it's priceless.

I've been trying to keep my chops up by watching more videos discussing the current state and future of independent film distribution. Much of what I've watched deals specifically with social networking, which I have a decent handle on. Just gotta get that website finished.. it will all make sense in time.

Birthday Irony

2010-05-16T08:12:00.000-07:00

I'm 30. A 30 year old man. An unmarried, 30 year old man. I'm an unmarried, 30 year old man that gets mistaken for a 17 year old boy.

Combined with the fact that I'm a late bloomer, I can live with this. But not for too long.. (I hope)

Forsythia I spoke about

2010-04-27T20:42:00.000-07:00

It's on the end of it's bloom cycle, but still quite spectacular. I've never been home to see it bloom before.

Picture complements of my brother.

Takin' a Maya Break

2010-04-26T22:16:00.000-07:00

I've come to CDA for whatever reason, and I didn't bring a computer with me, so I'm taking a break from the CG. Good idea. I needed to separate myself from it for a while. I had come up against some headache causing mind blocks and would have given myself a migraine if I'd kept persisting.

The weather is lovely, low 70's in northern Idaho. It's nice! Warmer than Arrowhead, actually. And I've spent a few days in the yard helping my mom get things back in shape. My work from last season is paying off- the lawn and new flower beds are looking great. I planted a bunch of peonies, and they're all coming up like they've been there for many seasons. I'm surprised. I didn't know if they'd make it.

I'm cutting back ivy- it's so unbelievably prodigious. The deer actually helped out this year and ate most of the foliage on the side of the house- the ivy leaves, that is. Glad they haven't got a pallet for rhododendron yet.

The forsythia's blooming. I should take a pic and post it. It's almost done blooming though.

I should say that it's gratifying to plant something, and to have it grow and blossom years later. Very rewarding. I have a whole garden of things to look forward to when I'm in town. Kinda cool to see a small tree you can pick up yourself grow into a gigantic tree. I really like seeing things grow.

A doc worth your time and attention

2010-04-14T14:07:00.000-07:00

I don't necessarily think along the lines of everything said, but the heart of this documentary is right on.

Wow, am I done or what?

2010-04-14T09:07:00.000-07:00

Wow, am I ready for this to be finished. There have been so many hang-ups, it is taking forever. I'm pretty much on the small stuff at this point, ancillary details like trees, stars, the inside look, and buildings around the theater. I may just change my shots so I don't have to worry about this stuff. My scene is getting bogged down on the computer because it needs so much processing power. I may have to cut it into pieces and composite it together (causing me to have to learn another skill- meaning another week of work)

But anyway, I've decided to share where I'm at through images- and throw the official theater release to the wind. This is just takin' way too long. Besides, it's not put together like it will be online, so you'll still have reason to experience it. Also, if you're committed enough to be consistently reading this blog, you'll likely be one of the first to take advantage of my new website in all it's digital glory. So with no further ado, you can see a progression of my theater design here.

Final Leg of the Website Journey

2010-03-31T18:22:00.000-07:00

I finally started what I have put off- building the inside of the theater, the viewing area itself.

For now, my goal is to represent the front of the building, or facade, a closeup of the box office, and the room with the silver screen. At one point early on, I'd considered a concession stand, a video arcade, etc. but right now it doesn't really merit the time and attention, and I don't want this to become gaudy. I may cave in later, but I'll need a better reason.. if there's anything I know about being a story teller, it's that sometimes less is more.

Anyway, here are a few pics of the work I've been up to as of late. (All today, actually)

The outer facade has finally gotten to a point where I'm generally satisfied with the look. I've been having some lighting issues with the neon lights. And then the mouse I've been using just decided to start acting up yesterday. I have alternatives, but continue to use the dysfunctional one.. it's a long explanation, and I don't want to explain.

Once this is done, I have some coding to do, some odds and ends to wrap up, then get a web hosting service.. and that will be the end of this part of the journey- it will be nice to reach that plateau.

Website Almost Done

2010-03-20T09:05:00.000-07:00

I keep saying this, but really, the website is almost done. That is, the homepage. Unfortunately the realities of life have gotten in the way of my wand waving desire to instantly establish an online marketing and distribution channel for myself. Ho hum, as my dear friend says.

In the meantime, I've decided to pre-empt my official web launch and let you faithful readers see the latest work, even though it's unfinished. None of the links work, FYI. The original file is actually just pointed to by my domain. You can view it by visiting www.thirdofeight.com.

Honestly, it's pretty impressive as is, thanks to my web designer, BJ Fowler. He's been incredibly patient with my demands. I really think we've come up with something superior to what I had originally imagined. Let me know what you think.

Make sure to resize your browser window once it opens.

Maya is a Pain

2010-03-16T11:21:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to share a little bit of my progress with this 3D theater I've been working on. It's taking some serious time, as I'm learning a new program along with designing on the fly. The program is incredibly complicated. In fact, I've never been so frustrated, at times, as I have been lately i.e. I've never had the inclination to punch a computer screen before. But I've also had some rather satisfying moments when things go just right (or the problem goes away).

The most frustrating part has been the unpredictability of the software. It doesn't always behave reliably, and I'm having to really learn how it thinks in order to bypass the headaches.

One of the most tedious things lately has been this:

It's unfortunately not finished, as I have some bugs to work out with how the light affects the elements around it. But I'm learning how it works, and that's more important. I have a feeling much of what I've been doing has been the long way of doing things with this program. I'm not patient enough to just sit and do what the book tells me, so I'm bound to suffer as I am, I suppose. It's fun though.

I was resisting posting images of the theater itself, but I don't think it will hurt. It's going to look quite different from this anyway, so you'll be sufficiently surprised.. This rendering is actually quite out of date, as I've added a number of new elements, changed colors, etc. But it gives you a good idea of where I'm headed.

Again, the idea is that this will be a page connected to my homepage, where you, the public, will be able to go and watch my films. My first narrative, In Excelsis, will be the maiden voyage of said theater, and I'm really excited for it to happen.

In the future, I plan to distribute most of my films this way, and you'll be able to stream them to your computer any time, day or night.

My second animation in Maya

2010-03-04T20:39:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the lack of quality- it looks fabulous on my computer. Maybe once my website is up I can stream some of these myself instead of going with youtube- then you could see more detail.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0i1gwB7lUQ

My State of the Union Address

2010-03-01T08:18:00.000-08:00

I'm from Idaho. And no, we don't grow your potatoes. In fact, growing up we had to go to Washington to get 'Idaho Potatoes.' But that's because I'm from Coeur d'Alene.

"Oh," you say. "Idaho."

Then there's the ones that say, "Oh, Coeur d'Alene, it's so pretty there."

Yes, it's pretty.

But what I have learned is that there are other "pretty" places in the world besides my backyard. Like Lake Arrowhead, for instance. That's pretty. Actually in some ways prettier. But that's beside the point. What made Coeur d'Alene special to me was me; that's where I grew up. And despite what it looks like to anyone else, it was just the average, normal world to me as a child.

What now is even more significant to me is the idea that my initial desire to become a filmmaker was quashed here.. because I didn't think it was realistic; how many northern Idaho (as opposed to "north" Idaho- there is a difference) filmmakers do you know? (At the time) I knew none. Therefore what I eventually did in pursuing it as career was a rather audacious, out-ot-the-box sort of thing. Yet here I am, on the cusp of what could seem to be the rumblings of what may turn out to be an exciting career, doing exactly (and more of) what I dreamed to be doing long (or not so long) ago, during my sophomore year of high school.

It was a project in an english class that first initiated the thought process of me becoming a film/movie maker. It was called an "A" project. In short it was put in place in order to allow me to reach an arbitrary but coveted academically top-of-the-heap standard.

Actually, it was the second or third video project I'd done for that very class before the idea sunk in. (I liked that teacher, for the record, and had requested her class for the second time in a row)

To be more accurate the process of determining what I'd wanted to "do" for a career had begun far earlier in my life. I'd always wanted to be a vet- for the longest time. I was an animal lover as a child- rabbits specifically- don't ask me why.. or I'll delve into a lengthy psychoanalysis of my early childhood development- you think I'm kidding.

Then later it developed into "being a brain surgeon." (Now that was simply a reflection of desire for money and prestige, and whisperings of a heavily biased/medically focused father.) But all this seemed, in all seriousness, but a gnat when viewed on stage as it were with the joys I felt when crafting/planning my next shot in my bizarre, piddley, (really idiotic, nonsensical) high school video (really, they were bad... someday I'll show them).

But nonetheless, in high school I was hooked. Ironically it wasn't until I was essentially manhandled into living in California for totally separate reasons that I finally had the courage to take the mental plunge and consider it as a legitimate career possibility.

And so here I am. Many years later, but not so many thoughts down the line. I've learned a lot, mounds, since then, but I'm still in that ideal- living that dream of 'what tomorrow I hope to accomplish' with my work. The world is a very different place since those days in the kitchen on Davenport St. (it's no longer a kitchen, for one). i.e. How many of you readers can even remember the days before the term 'computer' had 'personal' attached at the hip, let alone the phrase being relegated to the inane acronym of 'PC?'

So understandably my strategy has been altered a time or two (or ten +), but here I am, still pursuing what still brings me great satisfaction, and still hoping to gain greater fulfilling rewards from.

I'm an independent, I'm a self made man- I went to college, but didn't graduate. I live between LA and CDA, and don't keep a steady bank account balance above 1000 dollars. In this, I am truly an independent filmmaker: I don't have a studio to pad my budget. I pay for everything myself: my films, my website, etc (Bless my parents for their support and assistance with not only my life and breath, and support during that first CA commitment, but with the acquisition of my camera and editor, even if somewhat collaterally).

Further, and gratefully, I have found friends along the way that have made the journey so much more bearable, even easier, and in some ways possible. Without them I wouldn't be where I am today.

But I still had to decide, on my own, long ago, to act.. which brings me to the present.

I am about to launch a website that I hope somehow helps further establish what is becoming in short the face of my film career- It will be the center of ongoings; latest happenings, actually my films themselves (streaming), behind the scenes videos, blog, etc. And it will include a store where generous patrons can acquire pieces of the art I have sacrificed and sweated to craft.

Thank you ahead of time for helping support his journey I am on. Hopefully the work I do, in some small way, helps you on yours.

ME

Why didn't I just do this long ago?

2010-03-01T06:31:00.000-08:00

Here's a link to the book I keep inferring some of you need to read. I have permission from the author to link to it here. I actually bought the full length version, but this in and of itself is a good, sizeable part of it for your enjoyment. Just read it. At least the intro, and you'll thank me.

http://www.scottkirsner.com/fff/FFF-preview-edition.pdf

Another interview

2010-02-25T19:41:00.000-08:00

Sorry for those not interested in this stuff, but this is the sum and substance of what I've been learning and doing and what I'm all about these days. If you want to know what I'm thinking about, and what I'm trying to really accomplish, then listen to it. If you want to ask me my take on it, ask away. Otherwise, this is important research and info for folks in my position. Hope it makes a difference for somebody for me to draw attention to it.

Plug for a guy who deserves it

2010-02-19T06:24:00.000-08:00

This is an interview of a guy who wrote the book, "Fans, Friends & Followers: Building an Audience and a Creative Career in the Digital Age." I've talked about him before and recommended his work to some of you.

It's maybe a little premature to draw any long-term conclusions, but I will say that his work has had a considerable influence on the directional outline and strategy of my film career.

Actually, to give appropriate credit, it reinforced, solidified and catalyzed ideas I had already had due to my previous decisions and life experience; what it did when I read it was provide me with current, applicable tools to help move me to the next level.

Anyway, if you see yourself as a struggling artist, or would-be/wanna-be artistic type that plans on (would like to) make a real living off your work, I highly recommend you take a gander, have a listen... and even take a read. It'd be worth the ten minutes, even if it opens up a new line of thought about what might be possible with what you're already attempting.

Quite a substantive (meaty) chunk of his book he's already posted on his website as a teaser-

Check out his site.

www.ScottKirsner.com

Never Say Never

2010-02-17T22:07:00.000-08:00

One of the folks I currently live with has been harassing me to learn an animation program he bought. It's called Maya. And I, over time, have vowed to not make any move in that direction- considering how badly I want to focus on directing movies, not learning another computer program. Case in point: two years ago, I spend months of my life learning Apple's new Color Grading system, Color. Granted, it was central to my then current project, and I don't regret it in the least.. but I have learned through experience that it is incredibly easy to waste mounds of time by squandering it on things I can do, rather than on what I want to do, career-speaking.

I mean, don't get me wrong, I do what I have to to get by no matter what. I don't want anyone thinking I'm a spoiled artistic elitist brat (ok, maybe an elitist, but say perfectionist, rather) But for an art-centered career, one has to be careful not to get to distracted with likes- you can easily water down your longterm objectives by allowing your focus to fall at first what seems just barely below the mark, but eventually widens to chasm-like dimensions.

So I've learned my lesson. Or have I?

Anyway, night before last I had gone to bed, but just didn't seem to be tired. I had just had a discussion as described above, only it included my learning another program, ProTools. (Audio) I was lean, at least in discussion, to start learning it.. (I had a reason- my film that has some sound work that could be done) But anyway, I had Maya still on the brain from the previous discussion, and for whatever reason, I had a bunch of unspent energy.

So up I got and turned the computer back on and searched the computer for the animation app.

Found it, (thank you macintosh finder window) and so started a few tutorials that popped up on startup. Anyway, the next day I found some online instruction that far surpassed what I'd found the night before..

So here I am, and I just finished my first finished animation.

I've got a stinkin' crick in my neck, but here it is nonetheless. (actually the neck was a result of htmtl/xml/etc work from earlier in the week- blech)

It's pretty basic, simple and straight-forward, but I did it (with help- thank you Digital Arts Guild). Quite a feat though considering three days ago it was all greek to me.

Anyway, thought you all could appreciate it.

I always, since getting into film, had ambitions to pursue cg on some level, but hadn't taken serious thought as to the timeframe. Still, I do not want to just animate, but this does get me excited for future possibilities, and a leg up I may have for learning it now.

Why not, I guess? One thing I have is time!

One more step closer..

2010-02-15T12:19:00.000-08:00

Woohoo! What a week- besides the fact that I have a crick in my neck, all is well. In fact, all is very well. Let me explain:

Through a 21st century miracle called "Google," I have found a store functionality that allows anyone to set up an online store- shopping cart and all, and I just spent the last few days crafting it from the ground up for my new website.

The program is called "Google checkout, and it's the latest of great new products that Google offers gratis.. well, almost. There is a small cost, but it isn't charged until you sell product. This video is one of multiple options available.

I know I must sound enamored by it, but considering how much I was loathing having to craft one from little bits of html gleaned from all over the internet.. I am pretty excited about it. Instead of getting a hodgepodge of gobbledeegook- what I hoped would eventually become a money maker, I have now an exact replica of what I saw in my head.

And that's what we call free market dynamics and the economics of free.

Stranger than fiction

2010-02-05T20:53:00.000-08:00

Is anyone even reading this? Sometimes I feel like I'm talking to myself.

Regardless, (I don't have qualms about talking to myself) this is the strangest experience yet in my journey. I never knew that such a place and environment existed.

There are facets of this place that speak to me and bring old imaginary impulses back to life. I am in a sort of walking sleep, seeing some aspects of the ideas of my mind in living reality. Granted, it's not the same. But so much is the same. Very much, in fact. In the realm of temporal development, it may even be superior.. but not sure. I've only been here a few days. It would be incredibly naive and rash to come to any concrete conclusion regarding much just yet. But in the meantime, I'm really liking this place.

The website plods on. My web designer is in the middle of an enormous move, so don't know exactly where it's standing at the moment, but he's been doing some overhauling and reworking of some elements we discussed. It's already at a state where I'm satisfied with it, but gratefully I really chose the right guy to collaborate with; he's totally workable and willing to do what it takes to make it the best. Not to mention that he's got a lot of the same aesthetic taste and minute detail orientation as I have. (And some of those who know me intimately know how remarkable this could be)

BTW Normally it wouldn't take this long for the process, but under our specific agreement, it allows for this arrangement- both of us getting what we need within our budgets of time, money and experience. English: if you're considering looking into services such as this, don't think you would have to put in the kind of time I seem to have. The process could be much quicker, under a different arrangement. Let me know if you have any questions.

Professors, Popsicles, and PA's

2010-01-19T17:43:00.000-08:00

I got my ticket into the Ontario airport. Never come in that way before; it should drastically shorten the commute.

123 bucks. Pretty remarkable considering I didn't have to walk. Ah, market dynamics! I learned something in Econ in college. Actually, I think of that class quite frequently-

***

I've had the pleasure of transferring some of my family's home video footage lately. It's been fun to see old days gone by. Funny how different things look. When in the middle of it, things appear to look normal- how unbelievable change can be for us humans when it's subtle. Extreme.

I've come to realize for me, that childhood was (is) more foundation in one's life than at first glance. I've made most of the serious decisions of my life based one experiences I had as a child.

I really think that every adult is simply a child with intellectual and physical adaptations, taken on to cope in a serious world. Yes, that's what I think.

**

And lately, I have met with a few film maker friends and am in the beginning stages of a very short production- just a few minute piece. We plan to shoot it next week or so, before I head out again. We also plan to spend little to nothing outright.. but we have my camera, equipment, and editor.. etc. If anyone is interested in getting involved, drop me a phone call or respond here. We need actors (or those seriously willing to try) and other help behind the scenes. As always, the more the merrier. I'll announce when serious needs arise, and things are starting to come together. Should be pretty simple though. (famous last words, I know)

The most complicated things I think will be casting it and lighting it.

I'm looking forward actually to getting to really light something for a change. (amateur cinematographer looking to expand his lighting chops) Might have to use quite a ghetto setup, but I'll make due! :) It's worth being able to do it all my way for once. May regret it. At the very least, I'll appreciate a DP more!

PS northern Idaho location, FYI

Totally Stoked

2010-01-16T22:21:00.000-08:00

I just returned from a visit with my web/graphic designer, and am I ever excited! Things are looking great, and I'm really getting pumped. He's an incredibly gifted dude. I am so blessed to have been at the right time and place to be able to utilize him. I'd link you to his website, but I can't find the address.

But can I just say how totally fulfilling it is to be collaborating like this? (One of these days I'm going to be doing it more often than once every two years, and for more than a week at a time.)

But I'm satisfied for now to be plodding along at this pace. All this seemingly small effort is eventually adding up to a gargantuan feat. Lots of work, and lots of fun, and it's all going to pay off eventually. I believe that half the problems people deal with regarding their jobs can be solved through choosing the right one in the first place. I know for many, reality gets in the way, and I understand.. but am I ever grateful that the Man Upstairs has seen fit to allow me to pursue this as far as I have. And so I press on.

I chose this profession.

2010-01-13T17:21:00.000-08:00

Well, much has occurred these last eight months. All has been good, but not all has been planned. I wish on occasion that my life was more solidly outlined, but for whatever reason it has escaped me. Such is life. Really, I'm getting to where I'm genuinely okay with it.

Actually, the real issue I struggle with now is knowing how to talk about it with other people.

I'm just tired of having to craft articulate explanations for everyone. I know I'm going in the right direction. I'll just surprise you all later when you see the results.

By the way, when compared to other people in the industry, my transient life doesn't seem so odd. I just don't hang out with too many industry folks, so I forget how normal I am amongst peers.

Anyway, without much fanfare, here's how the next three months are going to look: I'm taking a short visit down south for some research. Hopefully I can take the opportunity to remix my sound and reorchestrate my music while I'm there, and possibly work on some other film-related projects. Maybe these will allow me save up some money and take a trip to Massachusetts for more research.

My website should be finished here in a couple weeks. Pretty exciting for me- finally my work will be branded to some extent. And I'm excited to start implementing many of my marketing and distribution plans that have been really festering and developing over the last few months.

Latest

2009-12-29T11:59:00.000-08:00

Well, Christmas has come and gone, and my Christmas centered films still aren't streaming.

But I expected that.

Actually, today is the second meeting with my web/graphic design dude. I look forward to the coming days of getting this up and off the ground.

In the meantime, I want to share some of what I've been learning about.

Simply put, the internet is the bomb. It is altering every single industry, some more than others, but essentially what it all comes down to is MARKETING.

Historically, marketing has always been expensive, even to the point of creating barriers to entry. The entertainment industry has lived with this reality since it's early days. Tentpole blockbusters are known for spending as much money on marketing and distribution as they do on production! (150 mill or more, easy)

But now, the tables have turned... in a serious way. The internet has spawned some remarkable new relationships that are destroying the old business models and leaving those unaware in the dust. (To make things worse, most of the major studios are on what many consider to be the verge of financial collapse due to piracy)

What it comes to is that online social networks, cheap streaming video, linking, blogs, and internet search engines are all coming together for a perfect storm.. adapted so perfectly atop the foundation laid by the digital video revolution.

Marketing is becoming cheaper. (Granted, those who might venture have to take a much more proactive approach, getting into the nitty gritty and nuts 'n bolts of the process, but who cares? Welcome to the world we now live in. Those able and willing to exist in such a climate under these circumstances will flourish. It reminds me of when sound was added to motion pictures.)

And so never before have artists been so perfectly situation to succeed. Cost of entertaining and making a profit has never been so possible.

I could go on about different details, but I won't. If you're interested in reading up on this and related articles, I refer you to the websites www.scottkirsner.com, as well as www.peterbroderick.com. These two guys have geniuses (yes, I said that correctly), and are pioneers in this field. They are on the forefront of understanding and helping others take advantage of these earth trembling developments.

A few things to mention, as noted in my FB group:

2009-12-10T13:10:00.000-08:00

I posted a new trailer last post. I just cut it.

Second, if you're in the Spokane, WA area, my fictional film, In Excelsis is playing almost every day on channel 14. Unfortunately, that doesn't include CDA. And my documentary may be on this same channel if I get it to the station soon enough.

By the way, there's even more exciting stuff in the works.. so stay tuned. Leave a comment below if you have questions.

Benji

"You know you're in the right business when.."

2009-11-25T17:09:00.000-08:00

I watch the trailer for a movie I made myself, and it still grabs my attention.

Doing this fills you with an insatiable desire to pursue your craft even though it hasn't made you money yet. (did I say I was going to?)

You get that young, ambitious feeling of taking on whatever challenges there are.. even when you have a pretty good handle on how difficult it really is at this point in time.

Ah, I want to make movies so BAD! I wish I didn't have to spend so much time doing blah things. (But really, how much more I will appreciate it when that time comes!)

But ya know, I'm finding that things are coming along, and opportunities are on their way for expansion.

The major focus right now for me is to establish a revenue producing distribution channel through an online pay-per-view system. This, added to internet marketing and networking through an online presence I hope to establish an excuse to shoot a feature film. I also have some other ideas I'm thinking about that I've gleaned from others experiences. All in good time though. I'm pretty excited to see what I can do. What a revolutionary time!

I just read a few articles on the state of the film industry, and how it's changing, and it's insane to see things fundamentally changing in front of my eyes. If you want to know more, comment, and I'll connect you to the articles. There's a link on my new website, but some people are having trouble viewing it, and I haven't been able to troubleshoot the problem successfully as of yet.

HTMwhat?

2009-11-18T16:42:00.000-08:00

Well, I finally took the plunge. I decided to learn html. (Long story as to why, to be posted about later.. it has EVERYTHING and more to do with this blog)

And you know what? It's not that bad! I spent the last two days trying to get my domain name to connect to my server.. argh! But I finally found success.

I found myself swimming in code trying to get things to work.. it was rather intimidating.. but miraculously it all resolved, and I came out actually understanding it all.

Another hurrah for me was this week when I found out that I could host my own webpages (so I'm my own server--glorious macintosh). Yeah, I know, ironic for a blogger, but hey- I'm still new to this, but I'm overcoming my ignorance..

So now, I need to finish the html class online I found so I can make a decent webpage. And get the video streaming process going too. My new domain is www.thirdofeight.com There's just files for a Christmas caroling group I'm involved with right now. Eventually I'll get my site up and running.

Website coming soon!

And you won't believe it..

2009-11-10T13:00:00.000-08:00

You, my kind readers, may be a little skeptical. And I don't blame you. I've had some serious crazy stuff happening that has affected my film goings on. And I'm in Idaho. What's the deal with that?

Actually, I've had to do an inventory of what and why and all that. And I need to do something.

For the record, I have been ultra busy. After organizing most of the closets and public rooms in my parent's house, I have taken on my dad's outbuilding.. and it has taken me three weeks and I'm still not finished.

But anyway, as this organizational process draws to a close, I still have found myself with a professional direction, per se.

Do film, you say? That would seem to make sense. Paranoid am I. I can't move to LA right now. We've been through that.

But honestly, I guess the only reason I've sort of hesitated on film lately is I've ignorantly responded to the underlying messages given me by those closest to me. It seemed to them that, due to me my latest developments, I had given up on my film ambitions and moved on to bigger and better things.

And since now those bigger and better things have collapsed, I must move on and deal with the rest of my life.. new career, new job, go off of where I'm at, onward and away..

But not so. Film is my professional of choice, and frankly, I'm good at it. And so justifiably in my thoughts I always go back to it.

I can't move away, but I gotta do film.

And then WHAM! Last night the idea I had last year returned, and I'm attempting to proceed with caution.

Yes, I'm back where I was a year ago, but I didn't get the screen time established like I was planning (on television- though the nonprofit will show it in Spokane this year). So my income is not as a result. But that's okay.

Essentially a year ago the idea was to 1. make money showing it on television. then 2. take the time to craft a website to market myself online.

The online patter was to follow in the footsteps of Jill Sobule, who has been a genius at utilizing the internet to promote herself. Anyway, her idea was to raise the money to record her album through online donations. In return, and according to the amounts, she gave special prizes to donors.

Check out her site: www.jillsnextrecord.com

So what do you think? Do you, my readers, think that this could work for a movie?

The inevitable

2009-11-08T22:28:00.000-08:00

I've sort of been dreading this. I've put it off for some time now. But I've got to get it off my chest.

Why am I (still) in Idaho?

Well, it's complicated, more so than a simple answer. And it involves issues more weighty than you might expect.

In short, I feel a spiritual drive to be here. It doesn't mean I've given up film making. It doesn't mean all is lost and my life has taken a completely different direction. And it doesn't mean that I'm a couch potato 30 something unmarried failure. (okay, the unmarried part applies) It simply means that I have learned to not only discern the voice of a higher power in my life, but that I have decided to do what it says.

So with that said, life is good. You know, it's amazing what happens when you have something really truly difficult to overcome, and when you finally act, and decide where your chips lie, what a relief it is, and with what ease everything comes together..

So now I'm here for a bit, doing what I need to, and trying to not become a burden to those I rely on so as to repay them while empowering me to do what I'm here to accomplish.

I hope it makes sense.